We've Been Burned Before
by neve-grey
Summary: Beca and Chloe are living in Seattle with Arizona Robbins and her wife, Callie Torrez. They plan to stay there until Beca begins her internship with Domino Records in LA. Currently, Beca is working as a receptionist at Seattle Grace Hospital while Chloe does some part-time teaching at a local elementary school.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

I'm not going to lie – it was a surprise. I arrived at the after party and was greeted by a host of shouting and drunken Bella's. Hand in hand with Jesse, we had drinks forced upon us courtesy of Stacey and Amy.

"Where's Chloe?" I shouted over the blaring music of the small club. There were Trebel's everywhere, and the Bella's I could see were already drunk, dancing up a storm.

"Uh… she's over there. With Aubrey," Amy said with a grin.

Chloe and Aubrey were locked in a tight embrace. They were kissing with such ferocity that those nearby had stopped to watch. I stood there, completely rooted to the spot – barely registering Jesse's 'woops' next to me.

I pushed my drink into his hand and turned around. The music had turned to a droning hum that made my skull throb.

I didn't know what was coming over me… I didn't care. All I wanted was to be as far away from that nightclub as possible.

"Bec, wait! Where are you going?"

Jesse had followed me out onto the street. He was staggering slightly, and sloshed his drink down his shirt.

"Back to the hotel."

"Babe, wait, don't go," he said, grabbing my shoulder.

"No. I'm going. Don't follow me. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay," he called out. I was already across the road, making a beeline for the hotel.

Joining the Bella's was a mistake. Hell, going to Barden was a complete mistake.

I pulled back the covers to my bed and got in fully clothed. What was I going to do when Chloe arrived back to our room? What if she was with Aubrey? And… oh, why, _why_ did I care?

I bit my lip. I knew why. I knew exactly why my blood was boiling, why I had wanted to swing my fist into Aubrey's jaw at the sight of them. I knew why there was a heavy pain in my chest that seemed to be trying to force its way out of my ribcage. But admitting that to myself? What did me admitting my feelings for Chloe… mean?

My cell phone began to vibrate in the back of my jeans. I swallowed hard when I saw who it was. Should have known.

I threw the phone across the room as the image of her and Aubrey entwined flashed through my mind. I buried my face in my pillow and stifled sobs. I guess that it took me seeing her kiss someone else to make me realise…

I must have fallen asleep. When I woke, with my hair all stuck to my face from the tears, I could see her silhouette framed in the doorway. Aubrey's too.

"I have to go to sleep now, Bre," Chloe said through kisses. I pulled the sheets over my head.

"Go, go to your room, please," she giggled. "Not tonight, we're drunk."

"Just let me sleep in with you… I'll be good, I promise," Aubrey said thickly. She was clearly plastered.

"No. I have to check on Beca. Go!"

"Night, gorgeous."

"Goodnight Bre."

The door clicked shut and the room was sealed in darkness. I heard Chloe fumble around, taking off her shoes. I bit down on the pillow.

"Beca? Are you awake? Are you okay?"

I ignored her.

"Bec. I saw you leave."

_Did you, now. _

"I also saw you kissing Jesse after we won."

_Oh. Right. And?_

"Does… that mean you two are together?"

_By the same logic does that mean you and Aubrey are together?_

"Bec. I'm getting in."

"No, you're not," I said. My voice cracked. "Just get away."

"What? What's wrong? Please talk to me."

_I can't. Oh my god, I can't. I'm terrified. I can't. Please don't touch me… if you do, I swear I'll die._

The covers were lifted. The softest form enveloped me, and I melted into tears.

"Hey, please talk to me. Please tell me what the matter is. I hate to hear you cry."

"I can't."

"Is this because of Aubrey? I thought you knew, Bec. We dated for two years. We broke up last year because, well, it just wasn't working. But she's changed. I still love her, Bec. I hope you can accept that I've loved women in my past."

I wriggled out of her grasp and rolled out the bed. "I'm just not well, okay? I've got to go."

"Alright… well, goodnight, Bec."

I knew she had fallen asleep before the door had closed behind me. I banged on the closest door.

"Yo, Beca, whassup?" Cynthia Rose said. She had a sheet wrapped around her. "Girl, are you okay? Are you crying?"

"Who's crying?" came a voice from inside the room. It was Stacey. Also wrapped in a sheet.

"Sorry, I'll go."

"No – come in and join. We've got liquor. Come talk to us."

I obliged. Dissolving into tears, I lay flat on my stomach on the bed. Stacey patted my back slowly.  
"This is about Aubrey, isn't it?" Cynthia Rose said. I sobbed louder. "Ya know, it was pretty clear to us. You two have chemistry. But… Aubrey and Chloe have a history. I just don't think it's going to work right now."

I cried louder. I cried and they just sat there, stroking my back and offering words of comfort. After a bit, I sat up.

"I just… I don't know what to do now…"

"Look, have some of this," Stacey said, pushing a bottle of vodka into my hand. I hesitated, then gulped back about four shots worth.

"Now, if you don't mind… we'd like to get back to celebrating. Are you in?"

"What do you mean, of course I'm in," I said, taking another gloomy swig. But it seemed Stacy had another plan.

She leaned in, letting go of the sheet, taking my face in her hands. She kissed me full on the lips. She smelled sweet and sugary… and her lips were soft and gentle.

After a few moments she released me.

"No, Beca. I mean… are you in."

I saw Cynthia Rose grin out the corner of my eye as I put my hand behind Stacey's head, wound her hair around my fingers, and brought her in for another kiss. Of course I was fucking _in._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The door to our hotel room slammed and I knew that any chance I ever would have had was gone. I'd done my best to pretend that I didn't care. I'd kissed Aubrey in a moment of weakness… in a moment of awful, terrible jealousy and hurt. But seeing Beca run to Jesse after we'd just won… I was looking for her. _I looked for her._ I was going to tell her how I felt about her!

I leapt from Beca's bed. It was still warm from her tiny body. Through the haze of my alcohol-filled brain I stumbled around and found the door. I was just about to knock on the one to the left of ours to see if she was there, when I heard a host of muffled crying from behind the door opposite. Cynthia-Rose and Stacey's room.

Battling with the thought of Aubrey and how she'd feel if she knew why I had kissed her, and terror that Beca would never want to see me again, I walked slowly towards their room.

I'm not normally an eavesdropper. But I couldn't stop myself. I pressed my ear against the door and listened.

_"This is about Aubrey, isn't it?"_ I managed to hear Cynthia-Rose say. The sound of Beca's crying intensified. I felt my stomach twist itself into an even tighter knot.

_"Ya know, it was pretty clear to us. You two have chemistry. But… Aubrey and Chloe have a history. I just don't think it's going to work right now."_

The knot in my stomach turned to stone and fell to my feet. Beca wasn't upset because I liked women – she was upset because -

_ "I just… I don't know what to do now…"_

I raised my fist, about to pound on the door. I had to tell Beca, beautiful Beca, that I felt the same way. That I had been in love with her from the moment I saw her walk towards us at the activities fair. That when we were in the shower together, all I had wanted to do was pin her against the wall and kiss her. That when I taught her the choreography for the dances and held her hands, that it was just so I could be close to her. That when I saw her kiss Jesse… my heart broke.

But I paused, my fist suspended, when I heard Stacey's voice. _"Look, have some of this."_

Something was off. It sounded… sultry? Sexy? I felt my heart thumping.

_"Now, if you don't mind… we'd like to get back to celebrating. Are you in?"_

_"What do you mean, of course I'm in."_

I pressed my ear even tighter to the door. There was silence. What the hell was going on in there? Fifteen seconds passed before I heard Stacey speak again.

_"No, Beca. I mean… are you _in."

I stood back in horror. 'No,' I breathed out. No.

I couldn't move. I should have. But I couldn't. Have you ever heard through the wall, the person you love, fucking two of your friends?

I have no idea how long I was out there for. Could have been hours. But by the time the moans, the giggles, the shrieks of pleasure had simmered down to silence, I was sober. Heartbroken and sober.

My mind was made up. I went back into mine and Beca's room and packed my things. I couldn't be there anymore. I looked at my watch; it was 6am. I'd been listening to them fuck all night.

As I heaved my bag into the hallway, having just hung up from ordering a taxi to the airport, I heard stirring coming from Stacey and Cynthia-Rose's room. I paused, listening intently. I wasn't about to stop being an eavesdropper now.

_"You guys… nobody can find out about this, okay? Nobody,"_ I heard Beca say.

I bit back tears. Would that be the last time I ever heard her voice?

I had to move. She was going to come out at any second. Rounding the corner to the elevators, I heard their door open.

"Don't panic, Bec. We had fun. And we know you did, too," Stacey said.

_Ding._

I stepped into the elevator and pressed ground.

Goodbye, Beca…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Someone was nuzzled into my neck. Someone much taller than me, with long hair that was spilling over my shoulders. Dark hair.

Tilting my head ever so slightly, I saw the frame of Stacey – whose arm was draped around my waist, hips pressed against mine. My eyes widened when I realised that there was nothing between us except bare skin. We were both completely naked.

Lifting myself a little bit higher, I could see Cynthia-Rose – also naked – over on the other bed. I counted one empty bottle of vodka and three empty wine bottles.

No way…

I moved out of Stacey's arms and began to search for my clothes. Flashes from the previous night caused me to grimace. How could I have let that happen?

Stacey stirred. "Hey, champion," she said sleepily, groping around for the sheet and pulling it over her. "Did you have fun?"

"Dude, woah," I said, grabbing the other end of the sheet to hide my body. In my mind's eye I watched her kissing my breasts, dragging her nails over my back, and her long hair trailing over my hips –

"My head hurts," she said, massaging her eyes.

_What was I thinking?_

I pulled on my clothes from the previous night. My navy blue shirt was crumpled and had a faint smell of alcohol and, I shuddered, sex.

"Come back to bed," Stacey said, flashing me a grin and snuggling further down.

"I have to go back to my room, what if someone comes in here?" I whispered.

"So? Who cares, Bec, we were just having some fun."

My stomach swooped as Chloe's face filled my mind. I had to go and talk to her.

I stopped with my hand on the doorknob. "You guys… nobody can find out about this, okay? Nobody," I said. But Stacey had fallen back asleep and Cynthia-Rose hadn't moved at all.

I pulled open the door and blinked; the bright lights from the hallway did not agree with my head.

"Don't panic, Bec. We had fun. And we know you did, too," Stacey called out to me sleepily. As the door shut behind me, somewhere around the corner I heard the elevator ding.

I threw fumbled with my key-card and threw open the door to mine and Chloe's room. My heart sank.

All her things were gone. Nothing was left except an unmade bed, which I ran over to, shifting the covers and sheets like a mad woman, expecting her to materialise in front of me.

_Chloe,_ I whispered desperately.

I saw my phone lying upside down by the far wall. I grabbed it and turned it over; only missed calls and texts from Jesse. I read the last one aloud:

_"I'm coming over now, I need to talk to you."_

I didn't have time to respond. There was a knock at the door.

"Bec? It's me. Are you awake?"

Not now… I thought angrily. I opened the door and there was Jesse, looking incredibly guilty. For a moment all thoughts of Chloe were put on hold.

"What's up?" I asked breathily, trying my best to keep my face from crumpling up in sadness.

"Look, Bec, something happened last night, and I just had to come and tell you… I had to let you know… I'm so sorry…"

"What is it?" I asked, beginning to get agitated. I wanted to go and find Chloe.

He took a deep breath and looked me dead in the eyes. He too was wearing the same clothes from the ICCA finals.

"I kissed Lilly last night. I'm so sorry, I was drunk, and you had gone off all upset and I was… please forgive me."

"You… kissed Lilly…"

"And, well… I ended up going back to her room… too."

I felt a flash of white-hot anger. What was wrong with everybody?

"Okay. Whatever."

"Whatever? Bec, are you serious?"

"Look, Jesse, I don't care. Please just… just leave me alone."

I made to shut the door but he held it open.

"But I want to talk about this, I feel awful. You mean so much to me."

"Well obviously not enough. Look, Jesse, I should have been honest with you from the beginning. I paid you attention for all the wrong reasons. I'm in love with someone else, and I'm not going to stand here and pretend. I am hurt, I guess… but… I don't deserve to be after leading you on. I suppose I didn't know that I was… anyway. Just. It doesn't matter."

I could feel the tears coming back.

"Look, we can figure something out… right?"

"No. We can't. We will only ever be friends, Jesse."

I pushed his arm so that he released the door. Seeing the devastation in his eyes as he disappeared behind it made me feel even worse…

I dialled Chloe's number. It went rang and rang and rang. I tried another six times. Nothing. I curled up on the floor and stared blankly at the bed that had been hers.

I awoke, my body aching, to knocks on my door. _Chloe,_ I thought.

But it was Aubrey. Aubrey, with tears in her eyes, her cell phone clenched in her fist.

"Beca, Chloe's gone. She just told me she's on her way back to LA. And she's not coming back, at all. Not even for graduation."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I watched the city shrink from my window seat, sighing. Was missing graduation the best way to go about this situation? Was leaving without saying goodbye to any of my friends… an over-reaction?

I'd taxied from the hotel to the airport; I'd arranged for my things at Barden to be sent back to my parents place in LA. I'd ignored the calls from Beca… and I'd taken one call from Aubrey. Possibly the most devastating call I'd ever had in my life, to be honest.

I explained that I wasn't going to get back together with her. That I needed time… to get my head on properly. It didn't matter that we wouldn't have to be secret about it this time. She told me I'd broken her heart again.

But as painful as that call to Aubrey was, it wasn't a patch on how I was feeling about Beca. It was conflicting. On one hand all I wanted to do was turn the plane around and run back to her. But the image of her kissing Jesse, of hearing her in the bedroom with Stacy and Cynthia-Rose… the ICCA finals had been a total nightmare from the moment we sang the final note.

I rested my head on the plane window. The city was now but a grey haze on the horizon.

I scolded myself. I had been confident. Sure and secure. Hell, I burst in on girls naked in the shower!

What was it about Beca that made me feel so… so… How did she make me feel? I couldn't put my finger on it. But I couldn't recall another moment in my life that had made me feel so wild. And now, sitting on the plane, basically _running away_… that was so not me.

Dad picked me up from the airport. He looked happy to see me, and I did my best to muster an acceptable expression of excitement to see him too.

But twenty minutes later on the drive home, he cut the small talk. He lowered is tone in the way that parents do when they want to convey concern.

"Chlo, I've got to ask. Why did you want to come home so suddenly?"

I faltered.

"Just because, well, I got homesick and really wanted to come back. That's all."

"But your friends, won't they be missing you with celebrating the ICCAs?"

"Probably. I just felt like coming home and seeing you all. Graduation isn't for another six months, so, you know. What was the point in staying?"

"Okay, Chlo. Well – Charlie will be happy to see you."

Charlie is my younger brother. At 20, he was surprisingly mature. My two sisters, Leah and Abby, were not so much. And as for my mom… well, let's just say she got on better with Leah and Abby.

When we pulled up to our two-storied house I felt suddenly very far away. Not just from my friends. There was something else inside me that seemed to have faded a bit.

But when I saw Charlie bounding towards me with a grin on his face and his arms spread wide, I couldn't help but dash forward into his skinny arms.

"Good to see you, sis. Grab her things, dad! I've got catching up to do with my favourite sister!"

I caught a glimpse of Leah peering out the window. Within seconds both her and Abby had emerged. I saw their eyes skirt over my rather dishevelled appearance. I hadn't showered in two days and my hair was tied up in a messy knot on top of my head. The last time I had seen them was when I'd had my nodes out.

"Hey Chloe. Why are you back so soon?" Abby asked. She tried to smile but I knew it was forced. She and Leah – and mom – hadn't reacted so well about me dating Aubrey [the first girl they ever found out about]. In fact, they were a quite a large reason as to why we broke up in the first place. They'd never really got over me being different to them.

"Are you drunk?" Leah asked.

"What?"

"You look drunk. Your eyes are all red and puffy. No – you're _stoned!_ Oh my god, Chlo, I really didn't think you had it in you –"

"I'm not stoned. Come on, Charlie, let's go inside."

"Sor_ry_. Okay, dad – we're ready to go to the mall now, can you take us?"

"Alright, get in then," dad said, getting back in the car with his two other daughters.

Charlie and I went inside and sat down at the kitchen counter.

"Alright, Chloe Beale. Spill. Why are you really back?"

I stared at him for about three seconds before bursting into tears. Through choked sobs I told him about Beca and Aubrey. How I had been crazy about Beca but had been too scared to admit it because of the drama it would cause. Plus, "I wasn't even sure if she liked me, Charlie, she had this boy Jesse that wouldn't leave her alone –"

He listened patiently, pouring me some water and nodding or shaking his head when he deemed appropriate.

Finally, when I had calmed down and was a merely a ginger blob draped over the counter, Charlie stood up and crossed his arms.

"Dude, what are you doing?" he said simply.

"What does it look like?" I said.

"Chloe. You've made a mistake."

"About who? Aubrey or Beca?"

"Beca, of course! You're in love with her!"

I stared at him dumbly. I already knew that, but why did hearing him vocalise it sound so much more painful?

"You need to tell her how you feel."

"But Aubrey… and mom… plus, I've finished college…"

"So? Fuck them, Chloe!"

I'd never heard my younger brother swear before.

"But…"

"No 'buts'! If you love this girl, if you seriously do – and it was so obvious to me, by the way, have you seen all those Facebook photos of you two? – then you need to tell her. Don't let mom, or Leah or Abby, or even Aubrey, stand in the way of that. I've never seen you this hung up on anyone before. And I've known all your girlfriends, and those boys you dated at high school… come on."

My heart started to beat faster. I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I'd had about seven missed calls from Beca… but it seemed she'd stopped trying when I got on the plane.

I took a deep breath and pressed 'call.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I was back at Barden. The Bella's were still celebrating their victory at the ICCA's; none of them, except Aubrey and I, knew that Chloe had taken off home to LA.

We still had a few weeks left of the semester. I wondered what going home would mean for Chloe… was she really going to miss graduation? Never come back to Barden?

I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. I had fallen in love with a girl who loved someone else… _Aubrey_, of all people. I couldn't help but remember the way her body felt, soft and warm, as she had climbed into bed with me in the hotel room. But there was no hope. _If only I had told her how I felt when I'd had the chance…_

As for Jesse, the calls were constant. Message after apologetic message. I ignored them, of course.

"Hey Kimmy Jin," I said grimly, opening the door to our room and throwing my bag at the foot of my bed. I sighed and sat down.

"You look happy," Kimmy Jin said. Her sarcasm was tinged with what sounded like a small amount of pleasure, which seriously irritated me.

I got up immediately and left for the radio station. Anywhere, anything, to get me away from Kimmy Jin and provide a distraction from thoughts of Chloe.

I stayed in the booth well into the evening. I was thinking about going home when suddenly my phone illuminated and my stomach did a backflip.

_Chloe._

Should I answer? I looked around wildly as if someone would materialise and tell me what I should do. But the stacks of records and CDs provided no solution.

I held my phone as if it might explode. Then I hit the answer key.

There was silence on the other end. What was she going to say? After all – nothing had really been said. She didn't know how I felt. And, as far as I was concerned, she never would.

After a rather long period of silence, I spoke.

"Chloe, are you there?"

"Beca!" she said almost before I had finished saying her name.

I was startled to hear her sniffling.

"Dude, whoa," I said. I didn't know what to say. I didn't like to hear her cry.

"Beca, I'm sorry I left," she finally said.

"It's… okay. Look, I just want to say, I don't judge you for liking girls… or. Aubrey. Or whatever."

I knew I sounded like a complete dork. But I couldn't give myself away when I knew there was no chance.

"There's… something I have to tell you, Bec."

"Oh?" I said softly.

Silence again.

"I wish you were here, Chloe," I said quietly.

Silence again. Then two words that made my brain freeze.

"Turn around."

I sat stock still facing the computer. Behind me I heard a sniff. _No way…_

I spun around slowly on the chair and felt my heart leap into my mouth. There was Chloe, in all her beautiful ginger glory, tears in her eyes, a pained smile on her face… I hadn't even heard her come in.

She took a step forward. "I was going to call you the other night to tell you how I felt. But I wanted to say it to your face. It was stupid of me to run away like that. But I was so afraid that you didn't… that you wouldn't… but I. But Beca. I… I love you. I think I've loved you from the moment I saw you that day at the activities fair. I love your ear monstrosities, that we sang Titanium together in the shower. I love your tiny body and your smile and… if you don't feel the same way, I understand, but I couldn't go another day without telling you that you are the most beautiful person in the world to me."

I stared into her blue eyes, wide and glassy. Then I leapt from the chair and threw my arms around her neck.

She lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around her waist. I buried my face into her red hair, and she held me tighter than anyone had ever held me in my life.

"I love you too, Chloe Beale," I whispered. Then I lifted my head, placed my hands on the sides of her beautiful face, and kissed her.

I've never had a more passionate kiss than that one. Her lips were softer than I could ever imagine. And when I felt the tip of her tongue graze mine, I literally felt my stomach drop and my skin start burn. She carried me out of the booth, still kissing me wildly, and lay me down on the table where I had stacked CD's for the past few months. I felt her body, her sexy, incredible body, slide over mine. Our legs entwined so that our torsos met. I could feel her most delicate part on me. Nothing had turned me on more in my entire life.

The kisses intensified. We began whispering things as our hands wandered. I held on to her hips, her waist, trailing my hands over her body as if to memorise it forever.

"Fucking dammit, Beca, you are so beautiful" Chloe said, her voice electric and filled with heat.

"You are," I replied, feeling the sensation between my legs intensify.

"When I saw you in the shower…"

"I was so shy. So shy. But I confess, I stole a couple of looks," I said with a grin. I gasped when I felt her hand press where I so desperately needed to be touched.

While Chloe had clearly done this before, it was still new territory for me. But all the same. It felt so natural… more natural, in fact, than any other sexual experience of mine.

"Touch me," I whispered into Chloe's ear when I couldn't take it anymore. With one hand up my t-shirt, Chloe paused, suspended above me, a fire in her bright blue eyes. Very slowly she moved her other hand from my thigh. She brought it to my waistband, which she pulled back…

I moaned. It was absolute perfection. I was so lost in our world, lost in Chloe's rhythm, that I barely registered the sound of the door to the station open and the voices that followed.

Chloe reacted faster. She withdrew her hand from my shorts and climbed off me – or stumbled, rather.

She didn't have to be fucking me for the two people who had just walked in to know exactly what we were doing.

Why I even bothered to try and do up my shorts, why Chloe even bothered to grab her top and pull it over her head, I don't know. The damage had been done.

Jesse and Aubrey were standing at the door with their mouths open, struck dumb completely.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Aubrey, wait!" I cried, pulling my top back over my head. I left Beca, who was still sitting on the table with a dazed expression, her hair all messy.

I sidestepped Jesse who was standing with his mouth agape. I tore out onto the street; Aubrey was already making a beeline for the dorms.

"Wait!" I shouted again.

"Fuck off, Chloe! Go to hell!" I heard her yell. Her voice echoed around the empty campus.

But I was a faster runner than she was. I caught up with her at the entrance to Baker Hall and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her round to face me.

I had never seen a look of pure hatred more severe. I let her go almost instantly and took a step back – she was beyond wild. Her eyes were flashing dangerously as she began to taunt me.

"Beca?" she hissed. "Fucking _Beca Mitchells?_"

"Aubrey, I" –

"No. Don't you say a word. Not a word! After everything we went through! You were desperate to keep our relationship a secret for years, and within five minutes, you're shoving your raging toner into Beca - fucking - _Mitchells_?"

With each of the last five syllables she jabbed her bony index finger into my chest. Despite being only a couple of inches taller than me, she seemed to tower above my frame, casting me further into the night.

"I'm sorry, Aubrey, I just" –

"Oh, you're sorry? _You_ broke up with _me_! Then we took over the Bella's, and I had to act like I didn't care our relationship was over! And there you were, all happy and innocent-like, singing in showers and dating that boy on the football team, Jerry or whatever – telling me that it was better we were just friends! And then, _you kissed me_, told me you still loved me! How dare you! You don't DO that to a person, Chloe, you just DON'T!"

Tears were flowing thick and fast down my face now. Aubrey was right. I had betrayed her, used her, played with her feelings. I deserved this.

"I was confused, Bre," I said quietly.

I felt a white-hot pressure streak across my face as she struck me with her palm.

"You're disgusting. _Beca _is disgusting. You two deserve each other," she spat.

She made to open the door to Baker Hall. But this time, I grabbed her shoulder and spun her around, and it was not to apologize.

"Let me get something straight with you, alright?" I said, gritting my teeth and doing my utmost not to strike her back.

"You were by no means a perfect girlfriend, Aubrey. The way you spoke to me! You constantly talked down to me, made me feel inferior to you. I did everything for you! And you were always having a fucking meltdown over something! I stuck by you the whole time. Whenever you needed something, I was there. And when my parents found out about us, yeah it was hard, but I was prepared to fight for you. You continued to walk all over me. And even when we took over the Bella's, you continued to treat me terribly! Blaming me, shouting at me, never letting me have an opinion. It was as if we were still dating!"

"You fucking little" –

"I'M NOT DONE!"

Aubrey recoiled. I had never yelled at her before. Or anyone, really.

"Beca, whom you so hate with a passion, is completely the opposite. She is kind, and caring, and sensitive, and she makes me laugh! And yes, I feel guilty for kissing you at the ICCA finals, because that was a really shitty thing to do – you can call me disgusting, you can call yourself disgusting, but DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT BECA! GOT IT?"

I released her. I turned away from her and started jogging back to the radio station. I needed to make sure Beca was okay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Chloe's footsteps and pleas to Aubrey had dissolved into the night. I was still sitting on the table. My t-shirt sticking to me with sweat, my breathing heavy and fast, I felt no relief from the thudding in my chest.

Jesse hadn't moved a muscle. He just stood there, staring, his eyes wide and expression blank.

I noticed that his fists were clenched. I rolled off the table so that it was between us. Adjusting my clothes once more, I cleared my throat.

I went to open my mouth but swallowed words yet to form. Jesse had taken a step closer. Something wasn't right – he didn't look like the Jesse I had stacked CDs with all year. He looked… almost manic.

"Jesse, I…" I began.

I took a step back as he took another towards me.

"I didn't want you to find out this way," I said, almost inaudibly. Another step. He was approaching the table, and I was getting closer to the entrance of the booth.

Still he didn't say anything. Unblinking, he inched closer.

"Jesse, I… you're scaring me, say something!"

Nothing.

"What the fuck, Jesse, come on," I said desperately.

I'd never realised just how much taller than me he really was.

My back hit the booth. I was trapped.

I shut my eyes and cowered as he raised his arms, terrified of what was to come next.

Bracing myself, I stalled when I felt the much larger figure envelope me in an embrace.

"Dude, what," I said into his shoulder as he held me.

"Bec, you should have told me. I would have understood."

"Um."

"It's Chloe you're in love with?" he said, releasing me after a few moments. I was overcome with relief.

"Don't ever do that again, you got it? And… yes." I paused. "It's Chloe."

Jesse shook his head.

"Sorry, Bec, I was just. You know. Not expecting to walk in on you with… Chloe _on_ you."

We both laughed. I felt the tension lift.

"How long have you had feelings for her?" he asked.

I shrugged. I didn't want to have that conversation with Jesse.

"I was really confused. And I am sorry, Jesse, I hope we can still be friends."

"Of course, Bec. And... about Lilly too."

I looked away.

"So – wait a minute. Why did Aubrey take off?"

"I'm guessing because she's pissed right now. Like, really, really pissed."

"Why?"

"Uh… they used to be together…"

"Oh. Right."

"Right."

At that moment, I looked past his shoulder to see the redhead coming back into the station.

"Jesse, could we have a moment alone?" Chloe asked. She was puffing and her eyes were flashing.

"Sure. Okay. Well, um, I'll talk to you later, Bec. See ya Chloe," he said awkwardly.

"Bye Jesse."

Finally the two of us were alone again.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Chloe asked immediately.

"No, but I honestly thought he was going to. What happened with Aubrey? Did you catch up with her?"

"I did."

Chloe came right up close to me and took hold of my hands.

"She won't be bothering you about us."

"What'd you do, throw her in the river?" I joked. Chloe smiled. I blushed.

"Look, there's some stuff I need to tell you about before we continue making out," I said as Chloe swooped in for my lips again.

"What is it," she asked, holding her face inches from mine. Her eyes were distracting.

"I got a call from a record company in LA. I have an internship that begins at the end of the semester, so I don't know what that'll mean for us" –

"Perfection," Chloe said, grinning and kissing me again.

"Why?" I managed to say.

"Because I graduate at the end of the semester and was planning on moving back to LA to get a teaching job. So…"

"Ah," I said. I felt this balloon of happiness swell inside me. Was this really happening?


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

So it was settled. I'd be moving to LA at the end of the semester to live with my family, in the hope of finding a job. Beca would finish her final semester too - her dad was adamant she'd finish - before coming to LA to be an intern at Domino Records.

Beca's dad wasn't happy that she had decided to pursue music instead of university. I was there the night she told him about the internship. We'd just got out of the shower (showers are one of my favourite things, for obvious reasons) and heard him knocking. We got dressed at top speed and let him in; Beca even strategically placed books on the bed to make it look like we had been studying for her finals.

"Bec, Miss Beale," Mr Mitchells said with a smile, stepping into the room. I faltered and had to turn my cheeky grin into more of a casual smile - for I thought to myself, _'I've seen your daughter naked.'_

Mr Mitchell's eyes fell upon the pile of text books on Beca's bed and his face lit up. "Bec, I'm so impressed with all this study you've been doing," he said proudly, gesturing to the fake study. "Chloe, you're having a really positive effect on Beca. Encouraging her to join the Bella's, helping her with her studies…See, Bec? I told you you'd come to love university life!"

_'Oh I've been helping her,'_ I found myself thinking as Beca and I exchanged a lightning fast glance. I scolded myself immediately, surprised at my own thoughts.

"Yes, dad. Chloe is excellent in all the ways. Now, what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" Beca folded her arms and looked up at her dad.

"You said you had some news?" He said, looking at her expectantly.

"Oh, right," Beca said. She shifted her feet uncomfortably. Looking away at nothing in particular, she muttered, "don't worry. It's not important."

"Yes, Beca, it is," I piped up. This was the third time she'd attempted to tell her dad about moving to LA. Ever since her encounter with the police - when Amy and her smashed the window - she had been convinced that he wouldn't help her move to LA at all. Beca looked at me with those eyes I now knew so well, and I felt bad for pushing her. But I knew that she needed a nudge along.

"What is it, Bec?" He tried again, taking his hands out of his suit jacket pockets and putting them on his hips.

"I've been offered an internship with Domino Records in LA," Beca blurted out. "I start about three months after the semester ends, so I was thinking I'd just move there when I've finished finals…"

Mr Mitchells folded his arms and shook his head.

"Oh, Bec, not this again," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose and scrunching his eyes. "We've talked about this."

"Yeah, we have, and you said you'd help me" -

"That was before you were arrested, Bec!"

"But dad" -

"Look, I'm really proud of what you've accomplished with the Bella's, don't get me wrong - but your grades haven't been stellar and I think it's really foolish to throw away a free education. You've got a fantastic opportunity here."

"But you said" -

"I know what I said, but I've talked about it with Sheila" -

"Oh, dad please, you talked about this with Sheila? She has nothing to do with me, I don't care about the step-monster's opinion," Beca said angrily. I suddenly felt like the awkward house guest that has to witness a family dispute. I tried to do what I always did, which was diffuse the situation.

"Mr Mitchells, this internship is a really great opportunity too," I said as warmly as I could. Beca looked at me pleadingly.

As Mr Mitchells looked away from his daughter and surveyed me, Beca did a 'cut throat' gesture. _Don't get involved,_ she mouthed.

"Chloe, you of all people must understand the value of an education. Beca can pursue music after she graduates. Bec, why don't you just stick it out? You can always continue at the radio station as well. You enjoy that, don't you?"

"It's the university radio station, dad, that thing is listened to by like less than fifty people. And I want to make music, not just play it. I need to be in LA with the venues and the contacts" -

Mr Mitchells held out a hand to stop Beca and sighed. Biting his lip, his eyes went from Beca to me, then back to Beca again, apparently weighing up the situation.

"Graduate with a B+ average and I'll pay - _half_ of what it'll cost you to move to LA. Anything less than a B+, and I mean it, Bec - I'm not helping. I don't support this decision."

Beca looked furious. She opened her mouth to protest but was greeted with another silencing gesture.

"I'm not happy, Bec," he said. "This is a foolish decision."

Mr Mitchells made to leave. Just as he had almost disappeared through the door frame, he turned around and spoke directly - not to Beca, but to me. "Talk her out of it," he said sharply. Then he was gone.

Beca let out a shriek of indignation and threw herself backwards onto her bed. Cursing because she forgot that there were text books all over it, she systematically started throwing them onto the floor. I decided to let her have her tantrum without intervening. I didn't want to upset her further.

"Fucking joke, s'what this is… liar… I knew this was going to happen… fuck this shit, fuck Barden… when things finally start going well…"

She continued to mutter under her breath. Once she'd thrown all the books, she started on her pillows. "Bec…" I pleaded quietly.

The situation did not become any lighter; Kimmy Jin had just picked the best time to enter the room. With several friends in tow, the Korean girl waltzed into the room boldly.

"Oh look. The white girl is here with her secret lesbian girlfriend…"

I watched Beca literally swell with steam as she opened up her mouth to verbally assault Kimmy Jin. "Oh my god, SERIOUSLY? Why don't you take your 3D glasses and shove" -

"Hey now, stop," I said to Beca firmly, clamping my hand around her skinny arm. I pulled her up and off the bed. "We're going for a walk. Nice to see you, Kimmy," I said as friendly as I could. I hated this kind of confrontation.

"Eat me, ginger. Or rather… no. I take that back." Kimmy Jin said snidely, before positioning herself in front of the TV with her smirking clan.

Beca continued to scowl as we made our way outside. The sun was just beginning to dip behind the buildings so that long shadows spilled onto the concrete pathway that we followed. Once again I allowed Beca some time to deflate and have a moment to huff in silence.

Arm-in-arm, we walked towards the auditorium. Bella practices were over for the year, but for some reason Beca and I often found ourselves in the empty theatre just talking. It was one place we could always find some peace and quiet.

After a few minutes I sensed Beca's anger was slowly turning to sadness. Her grip on me softened and I felt her droop a little bit. Still, I waited patiently for her to speak.

"There's no way I'll be able to graduate with a B+ average, Chlo," she said. Her voice was heavy.

"Well, we'll have to get you studying for real. No fake sessions," I said with a smile.

"How will I afford to get to LA on my own? I have no money. No savings at all. I don't have a car, I won't be able to afford a moving truck or anything like that. And I have nothing of worth that I could sell… except my DJ equipment, but that would defeat the whole purpose… and I have no family or friends in LA…"

"Correction," I said, pulling out my key to the auditorium. [I would definitely miss having access to top notch facilities like the Barden auditorium once I graduated.]

"You know me. And I have family that live there. I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem if you stayed with us until we found - I mean, until you found - somewhere to live."

I blushed. Beca caught on to what I said. Her face lost all the sadness and was replaced by a beaming smile.

"You want to live with me," she said, bringing up her hand to her ear spike and turning it [a mannerism I'd noticed she'd do when she was either turned on, or awkward. I guessed this was a mixture of both?].

"Uh… I never said that," I said, grinning.

"Yes you did. Jeez, Chlo, keep your toner in your jeans," Beca said cheekily.

"I know somewhere else I could keep my - _oh,_" I stopped short as we entered the auditorium. I felt Beca positively shrink with terror as Aubrey turned around at the sound of the door. Aubrey and, surprisingly, the rest of the Bella's.

Aubrey looked scandalized at the sight of them. "Who told you about this meeting?" she said sharply, folding her arms across her chest, her eyes bulging and her lips pursed.

"Nobody, I didn't know there was a meeting on…" I said, confused. The rest of the Bella's were not making eye contact with me.

"This is a private meeting and you're not permitted to be here, so please leave," Aubrey said. She addressed us as if we had walked into a restricted library section. After flashing us a contemptuous smile, she turned back to the Bella's. This was the first time I had seen her since she'd walked in on us at the radio station two weeks ago. The following week had been the start of the mid-semester break, so I also hadn't seen any of the other Bella's. I didn't know what they had heard, but judging from the way they were behaving, Aubrey had told them something.

"Aubrey, this is silly. Beca and Chloe should be a part of this too," Amy said from her seat. She gave Beca a small wave.

"No they shouldn't," Aubrey said.

"What's this about, Amy?" Beca called out from beside me.

"We've been asked - the Bella's have been asked - to perform at the graduation ceremony," Amy replied proudly.

"Really?" I exclaimed, almost forgetting how awkward it was to be in Aubrey's presence.

"Yeah, by the head of the uni and everything!" Amy said excitedly.

Beca and I both jumped as Aubrey all of a sudden started walking briskly towards us. She came right up close so that the rest of the Bella's couldn't hear what she was about to say. Out of the corner of my eye I saw them craning their necks and putting their heads together, whispering.

"If you decide to stick around, I'll have to tell the college board of directors that a former Bella director is having sexual relations with a younger Bella member," Aubrey hissed just loud enough for Beca and I to hear. My jaw dropped.

"You can't do that, there's no law about who can date who. This is a university, not a fucking kindergarden," Beca snapped back, not caring about the level of her voice.

"Oh, isn't there? Well, somebody might let slip, and a certain somebody's father might just find out about this certain... sexual relationship."

"You wouldn't," I said desperately.

"Wouldn't I?" she replied darkly.

"You wouldn't out someone, surely not… come on, Aubrey, this is insane!" I said, feeling my face flush with anger.

"Is it? How about you don't wait around to find out," she said smoothly. "Go away, right now, and I won't tell Beca's daddy that she's fucking her tutor."

"No. We won't give in to your threats," I said, standing my ground.

I was startled to feel Beca's hand on my arm. I turned toward her; she was staring defiantly at Aubrey.

"Fine, Aubrey. I'm out then. I won't be part of the Bella's. Laters."

I stood stunned as Beca, the girl who in any other situation would have told Aubrey exactly where to go, began to exit the auditorium without a backwards glance.

"I can't believe you, Aubrey," I said, jogging after Beca.

"Yeah, well, the feeling's mutual," she called back. I could have sworn she added, '_ya slag'_, but I was too concerned about Beca to care.

Beca was already heading to the football field - our second spot that we often occupied when we wanted to be alone - although usually that was during the day. It was dark now and I could only make out her tiny outline.

"Beca, sweetie, wait," I called out. She stopped and turned around, allowing me to sweep her up in a hug.

"If my dad finds out about us, there's no way he'd help me move to LA. Hell, he'd probably disown me," she cried, releasing me and turning back towards the football field. It was but a dark abyss, stretching out far into nothingness. I wanted to scoop Beca up and take her to bed, and cuddle her until all her worries were gone.

"We'll figure something out," I said reassuringly.

We sat down at the edge of the football field. She nestled her head into my shoulder. As she sighed into the night, feeling the weight of the world, I made a promise to myself that I would be there for her always.

"I love you, Chlo," she said softly.

"I love you too, Beca" I replied.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It wasn't until the auditorium run-in with Aubrey that it actually hit me - the nature of my relationship with Chloe.

Growing up I'd never had any serious boyfriends. I was pretty much one of the boys. Never brought anyone home, never 'met the parents'… and I was fine with that. My parents split certainly didn't make me crave intimacy with anyone. (In fact, quite the opposite.)

I likened my relationship with Chloe to be something similar to a strange dream. When I was with her, it was like a crazy whirl of colour. Everything was new and exciting. I was so enamoured with Chloe, the person, that I hadn't given much thought to Chloe – the _woman_.

But Aubrey, once again, had brought me back to sharp reality. How long could I go on with keeping the relationship a secret? I didn't know how I would even begin to explain it. Not just to other people, but to myself.

A week after the auditorium saga, Chloe and I were having a real study session in her room. [My determination to get to LA was actually making me study properly.] It was a rare occasion that her roommate wasn't around; she'd gone home for the weekend for the first time in four months, according to Chloe.

I'd had enough of books for one night. I could sense Chloe had something on her mind that was bothering her. I'd discovered she was notoriously patient – something I, definitely, was not.

I tossed aside my textbook and half-finished essay on Utilitarianism.

"Chlo. S'up," I said, flashing my gorgeous girlfriend a smirk and wink.

"You look ridiculous when you wink, you know," she laughed.

I proceeded to wink several times in quick succession so that she laughed again, tossing her long red hair over her shoulder. She leaned across the books and kissed me. I felt that familiar whooshing sensation in my stomach.

"Is something up?" I tried again. "I can see right through that ginger exterior of yours."

"No, it's nothing major… I just…. Wanted to. Ya know. Ask if you've ever… been with anyone else before. Before me."

Her eyes flashed as I tightened my lips.

"Only the football team, Professor McGuire, all of the Trebel's…

"Oh, yeah, sure," Chloe said, rolling her eyes. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay," she said warmly. She turned her gaze back down to her own textbook.

"It's fine," I sighed. "Do you mean – are you my first?"

Chloe looked up. "Not really what I meant" –

"Well, you're not exactly my first… I had some boyfriends, and -"

"You've slept with boys?" she asked over the top of me. I was surprised how astonished she sounded. [I was also slightly relieved she cut me off so I couldn't finish the sentence.]

"Only a couple," I said defensively. " I don't rate it, that's for sure."

I felt a warmth creep up my cheeks. I was never this honest or open about this kind of thing with anyone – let alone Chloe!

But for some reason, my mouth kept moving and sound kept coming out.

"I was seventeen. I'd been dating this boy… a drummer in the band I was in at high school. It was a stupid relationship, really. Went out with him because my friends thought I should and I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Anyway, one night we just stayed late after practice. Had a couple of beers and… well. That only happened the one time." I shuddered at the memory.

Chloe listened intently as I continued.

"Then when I was eighteen, I went clubbing in Vancouver. Took a lot of E. Slept with a guy I'd just met at a bar. I'm definitely thankful I don't remember most of that. So… apart from those two, I never really…" I felt my face turn a darker shade of red. My memory of the night of the ICCA finals was replaying in full swing. I'd pretty much shut that evening out up until then – or at least tried my best not to think about it ever since it happened. It helped that I'd hardly seen Stacy or Cynthia-Rose at all in the previous few weeks. [Aubrey had made sure of that.]

I looked at Chloe. Her expression was hardened and I sensed she wasn't letting on as much as she should be. I was suddenly faced with a whole heap of awkward; do I tell Chloe about my drunken night with the two Bella's? Or should I just… keep that piece of information to myself?

But Chloe pushed me in the direction to the previous.

"So… you never had another encounter with… any other Bella's?"

_Dammit, fuckery on a stick._ I couldn't lie point blank.

"Um. Well. I don't really count it."

"You don't count it?" Chloe said, bewildered.

"It was a drunken mistake, so…"

"Beca, you just told me about your two drunken sex experiences with boys. I'm not going to get mad."

My face was on fire. I paused for a few moments before continuing.

"Miiight have had a threesome with Stacy and Cynthia-Rose after the ICCAs…" I said bracingly. I fiddled with my ear spike.

Silence.

"Mhm."

Mhm? that was it?

"You said you wouldn't get mad!" I protested, finally having the courage to look her in the eye again.

"I'm not mad," she said coolly. With a forced smile she began to flick through her textbook. I could see she wasn't actually paying attention to anything on the pages. Then it dawned on me and my face split into a grin.

"You're jealous!" I said incredulously.

"No," she said hotly, flicking through the pages faster. "I'm not jealous…"

"Yes you are!"

She slammed the book shut. "I know I shouldn't care because, well, of what happened with Aubrey… but. You know. I can't help but feel slightly annoyed that they got to be with you first. Or at all, really."

I'd never had anyone be jealous of my sexual experiences before. It was a strange feeling, to say the least.

"Look, I know it's a stupid excuse, but I was really drunk. And sad. And confused. And let's be honest, Stacy's not exactly a swamp…"

"A swamp?" Chloe scoffed.

"Right, a swamp. Plus, I totally saw you checking her out a couple of times at Bella's rehearsals."

"I won't deny she's attractive," Chloe said with a wry smile.

All of a sudden I felt nervous. I knew about her and Aubrey being together. But what about others?

"So… can I ask you the same question? Have you always dated girls?"

"No," Chloe said thoughtfully. "I dated boys throughout high school. It wasn't until I came to Barden that I started dating girls."

"You've dated other girls from Barden?" the thought of it made my insides wriggle about.

"Yeah. I've had one other serious girlfriend - relationship, rather, other than Aubrey."

"Where is she now?" I asked, hoping silently that she was far, far away.

"She's living on the East coast, I believe…" Chloe said, standing up and going over to her bed. She lay down and put her arms into the air; I obediently snuggled into her embrace.

"Who is she?" I pressed. I was intrigued now.

"Lexie. Her name is Lexie. We met when I was a Freshman. She was a Senior."

"Oh how the roles have reversed…" I said grinning, allowing Chloe to stroke my hair. I'd never been this affectionate with anybody in my life.

"We met at a uni mixer one night and really hit it off. It was never an official relationship. It was very emotional and… pretty volatile, I guess. I loved her immediately and I think she took advantage of that."

I stayed silent and let her continue.

"Anyway, one night she just randomly said that her boyfriend was moving back to the city and that I wouldn't be able to stay at her place anymore. I was pretty heartbroken. I joined the Bella's to give me something to take my mind off her… Aubrey was the only other Freshman in the group at the time so naturally we bonded. We spent so much time together things just sort of… progressed."

"But you kept it a secret the whole time?"

"Well, sort of. I was really worried about what my parents were going to think. My mom's brother is gay and they have nothing to do with him at all. They won't say that it's because he's gay, but I don't understand what else it could possibly be. Aubrey was actually the one who wanted to be open about our relationship. She insisted we told my parents - her's knew. They really liked me, actually. Even her dad, who is the most conservative guy I've probably ever met."

It was strange to hear Chloe talking about Aubrey with such tenderness. I raised my head slightly off her chest to see her face; she was looking up at the ceiling, lost in thought, her eyes glassy.

"At the beginning of Junior year, Aubrey came with me to LA to meet my family. They flipped their shit, basically. I won't go into huge detail but my mom said we had to leave. After a couple of days though, dad had convinced her to let us return. They reluctantly accepted the relationship. At Barden, everyone just thought we were best friends and it seemed to work that way."

Chloe must have felt my body stiffen. It was weird to hear all this stuff. I found myself regretting that I'd asked.

"But our relationship was really strained," she said, sensing my discomfort. "She was over-bearing. Demanding. Controlling. It became really suffocating. The pressure from my parents, combined with her inability to relax just pushed me over the edge and I called it off. Being in charge of the Bella's forced us to reconcile. I think she could tell pretty much straight away that I liked you, which meant she automatically hated you."

"What about that boy, though? The one you were with in the shower that time?"

"Oh, Jerry?" she smiled sheepishly. "I dated him for two reasons. One, to get my parents off my back and two, because he himself is gay."

"And yet. You showered together?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"He was wearing shorts! … Plus. I really am that confident about 'all this'." She grinned at me and I kissed her neck. "You weirdo," I said into her hair.

We lay there for a few minutes in silence. Then I asked the question that had been at the back of my mind since Aubrey had threatened me.

"So… what does that mean for us?" I asked. I was astounded at how much I was willing to communicate with her.

"What do you mean?"

"Well… do you want to make this public or whatever? Because I don't really know if I'm… ready for that."

Chloe sighed. "Bec, we may not have a choice. This kind of thing spreads like wildfire. It's pretty clear to me that the Bella's know about you and I. Probably a twisted, incorrect version from Aubrey, but all the same - they'll know. And this is a university. I don't want to scare you, but even if Aubrey doesn't explicitly tell your dad, the chances of him hearing something on the grapevine is pretty high."

"But I… don't know what I'd tell people. I don't even know what to call myself."

"You don't have to call yourself anything," Chloe said, sitting up so that I was forced to as well. She looked me square in the eyes and continued.

"You don't have to label yourself as anything, Beca. Labels are for soup cans. If you love me, then you love _all_ of me. If you love… oh I don't know, Professor McGuire, then you love Professor McGuire. _So what_ if I'm a girl? _So what_ if he's an old dude? People will try and shove you into a box to make it easier for them to understand. But at the end of the day, labels are just that. Labels. I've learned people are much more dynamic and complex and anyone who looks at someone else as just their sexuality - well, it's a sign of ignorance. If someone is focused more on who you're sleeping with than their own lives, doesn't that say more about them? I mean how boring must someone's life _be_ to cause them to stress about something like that? Honestly, Beca, I'd love to tell people that you and I are together and in love. But I'm not going to push you. I just want you to be prepared for, well, people finding out and you not having any control over it."

I sat there and knew everything she said made perfect sense.

"Alright. Well, I'm not going to go shouting it from the rooftops just yet. But I'm not going to deny it if anyone asks."

I lay back down.

"We can do this at your pace, Beca," Chloe said soothingly, joining me back on the pillow.

She kissed me and I felt the weight of the world lift, ever so slightly, off my shoulders.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I had been spending less time with Beca on the count of our exams. She didn't like it, of course – I'd had to send her away from my room in the dead of night; twice. It was important to me that even though she planned on leaving Barden at the end of the year, she still did her best. What's more, without her dad's help, getting to LA would surely prove to be a nightmare.

It was the Monday before my first final, which was to take place on the Wednesday. I was stressed. I'd been anticipating my graduation for years. Funnily enough, it was Aubrey who had helped me to take my studies seriously. Back when we were together, and it was me that wanted to sacrifice study sessions for make out sessions instead – she was the one who kept reminding me of reality.

"Chlo, you've got a lifetime to make out with me. But you've only got one chance to prove yourself in these tests," she would say, before sending me back to my own room. However much it frustrated me then, I was thankful later on for her persistence.

Now, though, I was holed up in the library, surrounded by books. My laptop battery was waning and I'd run out snacks. I thought of Beca tucked up in her own room, furiously trying to revise for her own exams.

I was not motivated at all – and this bothered me. But no sooner had I made an attempt to begin another practice essay was I distracted.

"Psst! Ginger!"

Startled, I turned around, looking for the person whose voice I recognised.

"Over here!"

"Fat Amy, what are you doing?" I said in an undertone, abandoning my desk. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her.

She started miming something similar to a Charlie's Angel, with her hands as a fake gun and a scowl and pout to match. I laughed.

"I've missed you," I said as I was enveloped in a hug.

"My sexy fat ass has missed you too, carrot top. We all have," Amy whispered.

"How are Bella's rehearsals for the graduation ceremony?" I asked solemnly.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," Amy said, again peering around the shelves as if she was avoiding arrest. "Jesse went and talked to Aubrey."

"What? About what?" I asked, feeling my heart rate spike. What would he want with Aubrey?

"I think he felt bad for you and Beca. He went to Aubrey to try and persuade her to let you both back in. Said something about the group not being as well-rounded and full sounding without the bass notes – you – or without Beca, who's a strong presence. And we all now how much Aubrey hates to lose."

I considered this. Then I shook my head.

"There's no way Aubrey would want us back," I said grimly. "And I don't know how welcome we'd be now. What exactly _did _Aubrey say to you all?"

"That's the thing," Amy said. "She wouldn't say anything. Just that if she caught any of us talking about you, or even if we asked her a question about you, that we'd be kicked out. Full stop."

I stared at her in disbelief.

"Aca-believe it," Amy said with a snap of her fingers.

"Even so, I don't think she's ever going to voluntarily speak to me again," I said, folding my arms.

"I dunno, ginge minge. She's got this new broad she's dating. She's like… happy or something."

I felt a strange stab of something in the pit of my stomach. Dating someone new?

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked. I wasn't angry or upset – just genuinely interested. "You're risking your place in the Bella's."

"I wanted to give you a heads up, is all," Amy said with a smile. "Plus – like I said, my sexy fat ass misses you."

She hugged me again. As she let me go, she asked another question.

"Are you and Beca really together?"

Her face lit up when she saw the smile on my own face.

"Hell yeah!" she said, pumping her fist. "So stoked for you two aca-bitches. Lordy, I was wondering when it was going to happen. Couldn't cut the sexual tension with a bladed pitch-pipe."

Grinning, I opened my mouth to respond – that was, until I saw Jessica looking for a reference book not too far away from our hiding spot. I pointed wildly. Amy reverted back to her Charlie's Angel stance and mouthed, "I'll see you at rehearsals!" before bounding off and out the library.

I grabbed my things and went straight to Beca's room.

"I thought we weren't allowed to see each other until after your first exam?" Beca said coyly, holding her arm across the doorway so I couldn't come in. I could tell she was forcing herself not to smile.

I took a step closer and planted a kiss on her lips. I felt her whole body loosen. She opened the door and let me in.

"I just saw Fat Amy in the library."

"Oh? So they're not ignoring us anymore?" Beca said. She sat back down on her bed, which was laden with books and notes. I felt a rush of affection for my tiny girlfriend. She really was taking this seriously.

"Amy thinks Aubrey's going to ask us back into the Bella's."

Beca scoffed. Her hand went straight to her ear spike, which she started rotating.

"And I think my dad is going to give me a million dollars and fly me to LA in his private jet," she said sarcastically.

"Well, just say if she did want us back, would you want to…?"

"What – be under Queen Aubrey's authority? Your _ex-girlfriend's_ authority? Are you forgetting she threatened me? Why would I want to be in the same room as her? Is this why you came to see me?"

"Bec, please don't get angry. I just thought it might be nice to be back with the group."

"Look, I've got more to worry about than singing, okay?" She snapped.

I was stung. Beca had reverted to a moody, dark cloud. She sifted through pages of notes, glaring and pursing her lips.

"Bec…"

She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Sorry. I just… haven't slept much recently. I've… gotten so used to having you in my bed it… feels weird. Without you. So much so that I've actually been _doing_ study. And now that Kimmy Jin has gone for the year, the room is really quiet and you don't even want to be with me."

"That's not true. At all. And you know it, Beca. It's just that Aubrey used to" –

Woops. That was a mistake. I wished instantly that I could cram the words back into my mouth.

"_Aubrey?_" Beca said, getting up from her bed. "I am so sick of hearing about her. Seriously. Maybe it's just better if you go for tonight."

She pulled the door open and stood to face me, frustration and exhaustion etched into her face.

"Okay, Beca. If that's what you'd like. I'll see you after exams."

I wasn't sure whether or not to kiss her goodnight. But just as I was about to leave she pulled me into a hug and brought her lips to mine. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be consumed by her embrace -

"Ahem. I thought I'd find you two lovebirds here."

Beca almost choked as we let go of each other at the sound of a very smug sounding voice.

"Aubrey! What are you doing here?" I asked as coolly as possible.

Her eyes darted between Beca and I several times before continuing. She was smiling haughtily – never a good sign.

"I was wondering if you two would like to start coming back to Bella's rehearsals. We need a fuller sound."

"This is a change to the threat we received earlier," I said as I felt Beca spike up like an angry porcupine next to me.

"Well, I've reconsidered. Beca's ex-boyfriend or beard or whatever, came and talked to me. Strangely enough I agree with his sentiments…"

"Fuck off Aubrey."

Beca turned on her heel and walked back into her room. I was standing with my back to the door, so unfortunately she didn't have the luxury of slamming it behind her for effect.

Aubrey merely smiled.

"You're really the one I want, Chloe. I can get by without your angry gnome of a girlfriend."

"The hell did you just call me?" came Beca's voice from inside the room. I heard her storming back over to the doorway.

"You heard me. Angry gnome," Aubrey trilled.

I stood in front of Beca as she made to launch herself at my ex-lover, who was still smiling with her arms folded.

"You really have no tact. Coming here at night, asking us to re-join the Bella's after threatening us – seriously, Aubrey, I think you should just go."

"Fine," Aubrey said, beginning to leave. "Give me your answer by the end of the week. We have rehearsals every Friday now."

"The answer is no, you satanic bitch-dick!" Beca called out from behind me at the top of her voice as Aubrey rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight.

_"Beca?"_

Beca and I turned around at the same time. I could almost feel her sinking into the ground.

It was her dad.

"Satanic bitch-dick? Really, Beca?"

"Dad, it's not what it – the one time I'm – I've literally been studying for days and you choose _now_ to come and see me?"

"This really just proves to me you are not ready to move away."

"But dad" –

"I'm so disappointed in you. You have been given so many opportunities and you're just squandering them at every turn. People know you're my daughter, Bec! And you're standing on the very grounds of where I work, yelling and calling seniors satanic bitch-dicks!"

I did my best to appear invisible as father and daughter battled.

"You have no idea what she's done to me, dad! She's been making my life hell!"

"Aubrey Posen? Making your life hell? That girl has been a student of mine for four years!"

I had to intervene.

"Look, Mr Mitchells, there was a disagreement" –

"And you, Chloe… I would have thought being so close to finals that you'd be studying, not… distracting my daughter."

The way he said it sent a chill over my body. He knows, I thought helplessly.

Mr Mitchell's stared at me with a hardened expression. Beca's eyes were so wide they looked like they were about to roll out of her face.

"I think you should leave," Mr Mitchells said quietly. "Beca and I need to talk. Alone."

I did as he asked.

As I rounded the corner I heard their voices rise as they went into Beca's room. I walked square into Aubrey, who had been listening to the whole thing, it seemed.

"Oops. Sorry," she said with a smile that made me want to tear her lips off her face.

When I got back to my room, I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't study. I couldn't sleep. The thought of eating anything made me feel worse.

Flopping down onto my bed and massaging my temples, my eyes fell upon a picture of my Aunt and I that had been taken when we went to Disneyland when I was a teenager.

I pulled my phone out. No word from Beca yet.

Scrolling through my contacts, I found my Aunt's name. I knew it was late, but I also knew she'd understand.

It rang three times before she answered.

"Chlo! How are you? Perfect timing, I just got out of surgery. What's up?"

"Hey Aunty Arizona. I'm not doing that great," I mumbled.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I continued to yell at the top of my lungs at dad. He sat on the edge of Kimmy Jin's bed and watched intently as I paced back and forwards in front of him. To my surprise, he was listening to every word I was saying.

" - I am seriously trying, really, really hard to get my grades up, to prove to you that I'm serious about moving to LA! And if you really knew what Aubrey was like, you'd be horrified! At least, you'd be horrified with me, because once again, I'll be an embarrassment to you. Like when I embarrassed you at the hospital that - that time. And don't you try and tell me you weren't ashamed of me, I could see it in your face! And the step-monster's..."

I paused, breathing heavily, looking at him wide-eyed. I could hardly believe the words that were coming out of me so freely.

"And yes. Okay. I am dating Chloe. But just because she's a girl doesn't mean you should all of a sudden change your mind about helping me get to LA -"

"It's not about Chloe."

" - because you said you'd - wait, what did you just say?" I had hardly heard him over my own ranting.

"You dating Chloe has nothing to do with why I don't want you to go to LA," he said simply. I stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Bullshit," I said. But even I heard the hint of doubt present in my voice.

"I already told you, Bec. Chloe's had a really positive effect on you. I still believe that. Mind you," he added off-handedly, "I was a little surprised to see her here so close to finals, but..."

"Hold the phone," I said bluntly. "You knew?"

"Of course I knew! This is a university, Bec. People talk. Not that it wasn't clear to me anyway."

My face exploded with color.

"You… don't care. You're not… disowning me?" I said, practically incoherent.

"Why on earth would I do that?"

"Because, well - I thought - I don't know, I -"

"You assumed I wouldn't agree? That I wouldn't understand? Come on, Bec, I'm a professor at a uni. I've seen and heard it all. It's your life, love whoever you like. And I will support you."

My jaw dropped. After opening and closing my mouth several times in stupor, I managed to mumble a croaky "Um." Dad just looked at me dead in the eye. For the first time in a long time, I had an overwhelming urge to hug him.

"Although, I have to say, you're being a bit hard on Aubrey. There was no need to swear at her like that."

The bubble of affection I had just experienced for my father burst. I swelled with rage.

"_Me?_ Being hard on Aubrey? You're joking, right?"

"No. I'm not. Sure she can be a bit… full on. But she means well."

It was at this point that my head felt like it was about to fall off my shoulders. It was too much to process. I sat down on the edge of my bed weakly, massaging my temples. Was this really happening? Was I really having this conversation with my father? About love, about Aubrey… _he supports me_, echoed in my head. But I was still interested to know why he had a soft spot for the woman who was causing me grief.

"What grounds do you have to say 'she means well?'" I asked quietly after some time in silence. I looked at my abandoned study books open on my bed. Suddenly the idea of finals - the idea of exams, of school - it all seemed quite trivial and meaningless.

"What I'm about to tell you, Bec, is private. I'm going to trust that you won't use this information against her, in any way."

I looked up sharply at dad. He was staring at me, his expression hardened and serious. I nodded, thinking to myself that there was nothing that could make me feel sorry for Aubrey Posen at all.

Dad sighed, then began.

"She actually confided in me - in her situation - some years ago."

"What situation?" I asked, feeling my heart rate pick up significantly. He paused before continuing. I could tell that sharing this information with me was not easy.

"Well, one day she started crying in class. She didn't think anyone had noticed - but at the end of the lecture I held her back and asked her if she was okay. And, well… she opened up to me. Probably because I was there at the time, who knows… but for some reason she trusted me. She confessed she was having a relationship with someone that could potentially see her friends and family abandon her. She was very distressed. I could tell it was genuine. And so I helped her."

I raised my eyebrows. Aubrey? Discussing tender emotions - with my dad? It was a picture I was struggling to create in my mind.

"Look, dad, that's all very touching, but that doesn't change the fact that she threatened me. She said she'd tell the college board of directors - and you - that Chloe and I are together!"

"Think about that, Bec," dad said, standing up. "Aubrey knew I wouldn't care if you dated a girl. I had been helping and supporting her without judgement in relation to that very issue! And the college board of directors? Do you really think they care about who's seeing who? They are empty threats, Bec. No… I believe Aubrey threatened you out of hurt and pain. You are with the very girl she loved - loves - so much."

Whomp. There I was. Feeling it. Sorry for Aubrey Posen. In every goddamn nerve.

But, it seemed dad was not quite finished.

"I suspect she's also upset because she feels she can't confide in me anymore. She avoids me. You are my daughter, after all."

"So… you're like. Basically an uncle to Aubrey. You like… care about her." I was beginning to feel slightly numb.

"I do. Like I said, she's been a student of mine for years."

"This is so weird dad, I can't even…"

"But Aubrey aside, Bec. And Chloe aside. I still don't agree with your choice to move to LA."

"But -"

"It's not just because of your academics. It's your safety, too. You're 19 years old. You did end up in hospital. You were in a dark place, Bec. A really dark place. And it was terrifying for everyone around you. You'd shut yourself away, you'd come home with these new tattoos. And I'm supposed to just be happy about you wanting to move to a new city where you have no paying job, no relatives or friends -"

"Yes I do! Chloe's family!"

"- and I know of her family's stance on her relationships, obviously."

I glared at dad with such an intensity, I wondered if he would burst into flame. But I knew deep down that he was right.

"Well, then. You certainly have had a relationship with Aubrey. Haven't you," I said through gritted teeth.

"She came to me, Bec. As a student. Long before you were at Barden, or even considering coming to Barden. She knew about you -"

"She knew - wait - you talked about me to Aubrey!? She knew I was your daughter and yet she still continued to treat me like shit!"

"Language! And of course I was going to talk about you. I needed advice too, you know."

"Dad, this is so messed up. You have no idea."

"Well, maybe to you. But it was you that got tangled up in this mess. I sympathize with her. And, like I said - Chloe's family will not like a stranger in their home. They'll see right through any attempt at pretending you're friends."

My heart sank.

"Plus, this is your first real relationship. Gay or straight, I don't care. But I do care about your safety and fragility -"

"Fragility? I'm not a china plate!" I scoffed. My head was swimming from possibly the most intense conversation I'd ever had in my life.

"You're safe here," dad said, willing me to understand his perspective. "it's secure and stable. You can't just, run off to the other side of the country because you think you've found love."

"What do you mean, _think_? And I have a job opportunity, thank you very much -"

"It doesn't pay, though. It's an internship! And Bec, I can see how blinded you are by love. I've never seen you more, I don't know, animated - or driven, for that matter. And I believe that stems from wanting to please Chloe."

Dad was undoing all the good things he had said.

"Don't psychoanalyze me. It's my life. I'm an adult. I'm capable of making my own decisions. You've had 19 years to keep me safe. So just let me make my own mistakes!"

Dad sighed. He sounded exhausted.

"You're right. You're an adult. If you want to move to LA, you can. But I'm not enabling you. I'm sorry."

"But it'll be impossible!"

"Get a job. Work. Live with Chloe, if that's what you want. But I'm not helping you with this financially."

"Fine," I said, defeated. "I'll find my own way."

"But I'll be right here if you need me. I'll always be here for you."

There was an awkward moment where we just kind of looked at each other. I had never had a more deep and meaningful conversation with my father than the one we had just had. At the same time, we both stepped forward and hugged.

I couldn't remember the last time we had hugged. Or rather - the last time I had let him.

"I think you should go and talk to Chloe. She's probably thinking the worst."

Wiping away tears, I nodded.

* * *

"Are you okay? What did he say?" Chloe said as soon as I opened the door.

Sitting together on her bed, I relayed the conversation I'd had with dad. Even the parts about him and Aubrey being confidantes.

"Oh, Beca," Chloe said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm so happy he supports you. Us."

"Well, in that regard. But he won't help me move. And he said your family -"

"- he is right about that. The more I think about it, the more I've realized how awkward it'd be for everyone. So... I have another proposition."

"You do?" I said, perking up slightly.

"My Aunt - well, she's really my..." she shut her eyes as she tried to explain herself, "... My dad's dad, granddad Marc, has a brother called Geoff... she's Geoff's daughter. My dad's cousin. It's so confusing... I think she's my second cousin, but I just call her my aunt anyway. We look so alike it's actually insane."

I didn't really follow her attempt at explaining her family tree, but all the same, I was interested in what she was about to suggest.

"Anyway, aunty Arizona has offered for us to stay with her until we find jobs!" Chloe said, her face lit up with a massive smile.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

I gazed at the stacks of boxes in my room, all packed and ready to go. It felt surreal. I'd arrived at Barden when I was just seventeen (I'd skipped a grade). Now, I was nearly twenty-two, and facing the reality of the 'real world.'

I'd said my emotional goodbyes to classmates, professors, teachers. The Bella's. That was probably the hardest thing to do. Those girls were my true friends – my family. It was strange to think that the following year, the girls that Aubrey and I had chosen would be running the whole group. And I would be saying goodbye to the past four years of my life.

The emotional icing on the cake, so to speak, was when I had to tell Aubrey that Beca and I wouldn't be participating in the graduation performance. We wouldn't be able to attend holiday rehearsals on the count of being at the other end of the country (not that Beca could be convinced anyway).

Even though it had been me that had finished the relationship between Aubrey and I – even though it was me that had ruined any chance of a friendship – it was incredibly sad to be saying goodbye. She had been my best friend. She'd taught me, in a strange way, what love was. And what it wasn't.

I was immersed in thought now. Thankful that I'd finished packing, I lay down amongst my boxes and gave in to my wandering mind. I thought about the previous day; I'd popped into the auditorium before I had to return my keys. I wanted one last look at the place. I was only half surprised to discover Aubrey was there - tidying up the chairs, wiping down the white board. Practice must have finished not long before. She was alone.

Instead of turning around and running away – which was my first instinct - I greeted her awkwardly. She didn't yell, thankfully, or tell me to leave. I received a simple, "hello," and a forced smile.

I took my chance to explain that I was moving to Seattle to live with Aunty Arizona, so singing in the graduation performance was out of the question.

"Oh, she was always nice," Aubrey said, continuing to stack chairs, not really looking directly at me. I waited for some time, wondering if she'd continue speaking. She didn't.

I sensed it was time for me to leave. I cleared my throat.

"Well… All the best, then, Bre. I'll… email. Maybe call from time to time if you'd…?"

Aubrey turned around to face me. She was smiling, albeit painfully.

"Please don't."

My heart sank.

"But, I'd like to… you're, you know… my best friend."

"Chloe," she said, matter-of-factly. "I don't want to make any sort of pretence that I want to keep in contact with you. Those bridges are well and truly burned."

I suddenly felt overwhelmingly sad.

"Okay, I respect that," I said as kindly as I could. "I'll go. But I really do wish you all the best."

We looked at each other silently. While a steady stream of tears was trailing off my cheeks, Aubrey remained stoic. I expected nothing less.

"You too," she said at last. With a final nod, she turned her back to me, and continued stacking.

I had gone back to my room heavy-hearted. I hadn't even wanted to see Beca that night…

I was pulled out of my depth of thought to the sound of someone knocking. I heaved myself up and opened the door to reveal an anxious looking Beca.

"The moving truck is here. It's out the front. You're all ready to go, then?"

With one last sweep of my room, I nodded. "Yep. Ready as I'll ever be."

"Alright, Kev, bring your boys in… we've got stuff to move!" Beca called out to the man in charge of the truck. She clapped her hands together excitedly.

"My stuff's all in already. Just said goodbye to dad. He's still not happy… but he's at least thankful I'm going with you," Beca said, stepping backwards to allow the burly movers to come and collect my boxes.

"Well, I don't want to let him down," I said with a smile. "Got your plane ticket?"

Beca put her hand grimly into her pocket and pulled out the piece of paper with her flight details.

"Yeah. I've got it," she said darkly.

"Oh, Bec," I said, feeling awfully sorry for my girlfriend. "I promise I'll help you get new DJ equipment when we get to Seattle."

She'd had to sell all of her DJ gear to fund her move. Her dad had definitely stuck to his guns. While I had money saved up from my old restaurant job to pay for the flight home, I didn't quite have enough to pay for the larger moving van that would be necessary to cart both mine and Beca's things to Seattle. We had pooled my savings as well as her DJ equipment money together to afford the move. Had Arizona not offered for us to live for free initially, we'd be stuck.

I smiled at Beca, and hand-in-hand we went out to get our taxi to the airport.

* * *

"It's 503. It should be… the next one," I said, hauling my suitcase behind me. Beca was in front, dragging her own case, which was almost larger than her.

"Here. It's here," she said, looking at me expectantly.

"Well, go ahead and knock!" I grinned.

Beca looked nervous as she raised her fist and rapped on the door three times. There was the sound of footsteps, then the door swung wide open to reveal the form of a rather beautiful woman with long dark hair and a beaming smile.

"Chloe!" the woman said, staring directly at Beca. She held out her hand. "I've heard so many good things about you… although I… expected you to look more like Arizona, the way she went on"-

"- Weird indeed, because I expected _you_ to look more like Chloe…" Beca said, her eyes darting backwards and forwards between the woman and me.

I leapt forward to settle the confusion.

"_I'm_ Chloe," I said, smiling. The woman threw her hands up dramatically, then pulled the door open wider. "Of course you are! Holy wow, you do look like Arizona. Come on in." She turned back to my girlfriend. "And you must be Beca!"

"Uh… yep, that's me," Beca said awkwardly, following the woman inside.

Upon seeing the apartment I immediately wondered if I had pursued the wrong profession – it was impressive. Being a surgeon was clearly a lucrative enterprise. Apparently Beca thought so too because she'd stopped a mere two steps over the threshold and was gawping at the surroundings.

"I'm Callie, Arizona's wife," said the woman proudly, distracting me from taking in everything I could about the lavish apartment.

I faltered. "Arizona's… wife? Wait – you're married?"

"Didn't she tell you?" Callie said, confused. "She said she sent your family an invitation but they never responded."

"That's so typical of my family!" I said, outraged. "They never even told me. I would have been there in a heartbeat otherwise," I said, letting go of my suitcase. Beca was looking around at the living room awkwardly, appearing rather out of place in her oversized La Roux t-shirt, black jeans and Vans.

"Well, families will do stupid shit," Callie said, clicking her tongue and entering the kitchen. "Tea? Coffee? Beca, can I get you a sedative instead? Sorry, I'm just teasing. You can relax, this isn't Alcatraz."

I was taken aback by the woman – or should I say, my aunt's wife – who was dancing about the kitchen making coffees. There was something about her… she seemed to take up the whole apartment with her bold presence. Then I clicked: she reminded me of Beca. An older, more confident version of Beca.

"So… where is Arizona?" Beca asked casually, taking a seat on a large red sofa. I saw her look at the fireplace next to it in awe.

"At work," Callie responded. "She should be back from the hospital in about an hour."

"How did you and Arizona meet?" I asked, desperate to know more. I took a seat on a tall bar stool at the kitchen counter.

Callie looked at me and I suddenly wished I had worn something nicer than just a jumper and jeans. She really was beautiful.

"I just can't get over how much you look like Arizona," she said again, shaking her head. She handed me a coffee that looked like it could have been made by a professional barrister. Beca took hers shortly after with an impressed 'thanks'.

"Arizona and I met at work," Callie continued, sitting next to me and taking a sip of her own drink. "Bit of courtship. Well – she kissed me in a pub bathroom, really, but… well, have you seen the woman? She's a fox. My wife is a total fox."

I couldn't help but grin. I looked over at Beca, who was fiddling with her ear spike.

I opened my mouth to respond – until I almost choked on my coffee. I heard the sound of a baby crying. Callie leapt to attention immediately, entering one of two doors leading off the kitchen. She emerged a few moments later holding a toddler.

"You have a baby?" I gushed, leaping to my feet and rushing over to the sleepy looking girl.

"Yep. Sofia. She's perfect," Callie said, bobbing Sofia on her hip and making some cooing sounds.

"I just… can't believe I didn't know," I said, as Callie wasted no time in handing me the toddler. She was relaxed and held on to me tenderly.

"You look like Arizona _and_ you're good with babies. Did she have a kid I didn't know about…?"

I laughed, carrying Sofia over to Beca. I sat on the big red couch next to my girlfriend.

"Isn't she gorgeous?" I said, putting Sofia on my knee and making faces. I turned towards Beca – and was surprised to see her eyes wide, her whole body recoiling slightly.

"Babies hate me," Beca said, looking up at Callie, who downed the rest of her drink.

"Nonsense," Callie said. She came over and picked Sofia up and placed her instead on Beca's knee, much to her shock.

"See!" Callie said, as Sofia looked up at Beca placidly. "She likes you!"

Beca held on to Sofia, whose face was split into a big grin. I felt my heart melt at the sight of the two of them. Then I went bright red at the next thought I had; _I wonder what mine and Beca's kids will look like?_

Thankfully neither Beca or Callie had noticed my flaming face; the front door had swung open. There was my aunty in all her blonde glory, beaming at the sight of everyone in the room.

"Ahhh! Chloe!" she cried, dashing forward and puling me into a hug. "Oh, I'm so happy to see you! My last surgery was cancelled, so I - and I see you've met Callie and Sofia!"

"They're beautiful, Arizona, seriously! And I'm so sorry I wasn't there for the wedding. Or for your baby. But my parents…"

"Yes, I figured that was the case. And I'm sorry I've been absent lately. Life's sure been crazy," she said, closing the door and accepting a hug from her wife.

"This is my girlfriend, Beca," I said, nodding as Beca stood up and came over to me, still holding Sofia.

"Lovely to meet you! Now, Chloe tells me you're quite the skilled DJ?"

Beca nodded, blushing slightly.

"That is so cool," Callie said. "You know, I used to do a bit of DJ work back when I was in college."

"No way!" Beca sounded impressed. "And… by the way, thank you both so much for letting us stay here while we find our feet. You're life savers."

"Honestly, it's not a problem. We're happy to have you here." Callie said. "Right, I've got to get ready for work. Sofia's just woken up from her afternoon nap so she'll need feeding."

"Okay, well you go get ready, I'll get the girls settled in," Arizona said, planting a kiss on her wife's lips.

"Come on, you two, and I'll show you your bedroom," Arizona said with a smile.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 **

I stirred. For a moment I didn't know where I was; the bed was different, the duvet heavier…

"Chloe?" I croaked.

Then I remembered. I was on the fifth floor of a beautiful apartment in Seattle, sleeping next to a gorgeous redhead.

Except I wasn't.

"Chloe?" I said again when I got no reply, sitting up. Her space was empty - but there was a note on her pillow.

_Out for a walk with Arizona and Sofia. Didn't want to wake you. Chloe xx_

I smiled.

Chloe and I had been in Seattle for a week. So far we'd managed to unpack our suitcases and some of the boxes that had arrived two days prior. The rest of our stuff had gone to Chloe's parents in LA. (They didn't know half of it was actually mine.)

We had slept in every day. Explored the area around the apartment. Had a look online and in the paper for jobs, but hadn't really tried too seriously to find anything. We were both so content in our new location.

Most of the time we had the apartment to ourselves. Callie and Arizona worked long, bizarre hours, and Sofia was often in the hospital day care.

I stretched out and yawned. Sunlight streamed through the gaps in the curtain. Dozily, I got up and left the bedroom to make breakfast.

Thinking about the previous night (some incredibly sexy things had happened in mine and Chloe's bed), I opened the fridge door and searched for the milk –

"Mornin' sleepyhead."

"Oh, shit, Jesus – Callie! I didn't know you were home – sorry – let me just" –

I was wearing only undies and a singlet. Without a bra. I tried to hide behind the kitchen counter; Callie was sprawled out on the big red couch holding a magazine. She looked a bit like a mermaid.

"Don't worry about it," Callie laughed. "Most days when I'm here alone, I wear much less than that."

"Let me just go and put something else on," I said, feeling like the world's biggest dork.

"The jug is still warm if you'd like some tea or coffee," Callie called out. I emerged shortly after, more decent.

"Thanks," I said, getting back to making cereal and tea. I was still blushing somewhat.

"I was up all night," Callie sighed. "Major surgery on this sixteen-year-old kid. Fell off his bike. Might as well have fallen off a three-storied building, he was that smashed up."

"Woah… so you haven't slept all night?"

"Nope."

"You fixed him?"

"Damn right I did," Callie grinned with a nod of her head. "Anyway, I'm not on the mood for work talk. Why don't you tell me more about yourself? I feel as if I've been at work so much lately that I haven't had a proper chance to talk to you. Tell me about your music."

"My music?" I was taken aback.

"Yeah. I need to get my mind off surgery. "

I was startled by how forward and confident Callie was. I definitely admired her, that's for sure.

"Well… I've been mixing for about five years now. Had to sell all my equipment to get here, though," I said grimly.

"Got any mixes with you?"

"Yeah, heaps."

"Can I hear them?"

I nodded, and retrieved my iPod from the bedroom and handed it over to Callie. Thinking she was just going to shove the headphones in, I was intrigued to see her get up and go over to the kitchen. There was an AUX cord on the bench that she plugged in.

A mix that I'd made for Chloe suddenly blasted throughout the whole apartment through a state-of-the-art surround sound system. Needless to say, I was becoming more and more impressed by these surgeons by the day.

"This is great! You've got talent!" she shouted over the music, which she promptly turned up even louder.

* * *

Callie and I spent the rest of the morning getting to know each other. She told me about med school, residency, becoming an attending – she even told me about the death of Sofia's dad. I marveled at despite having been through some really awful things in the past, she remained optimistic. And grateful.

I found myself willing to share with her because she was being so forthright with me. I told her about my parents divorce. How I was pressured to go to Barden, had joined the Bella's, met Chloe. I told her about Aubrey, too. Callie listened patiently.

By the time lunch rolled around she still hadn't gone to bed. Instead, she'd ordered us pizza and cracked open a bottle of red wine.

The music was still playing and we were talking so loudly that we didn't even hear the door open.

"Look at you two!" Arizona said, beaming. I looked up and saw the two women who could be sisters entering the apartment laden with bags. At the sight of me on the floor surrounded by pizza with Callie, Chloe looked down at me with glassy eyes and a big smile - similar to the first time we had kissed. By now, I was slightly drunk. I'd had two wines. Lightweight is an understatement when it comes to me.

"How was your morning?" Callie asked, still chewing a mouthful of pizza.

"We dropped Sofia off at Meredith and Derek's, then went into town for a bit of shopping," Arizona said, taking a seat on the other couch. Chloe followed suit.

"Their daughter Zola is adorable," Chloe said. She reached down and took a slice of pizza.

"Don't you get all clucky on me now," I joked. Chloe rolled her eyes with a smirk.

"Callie was just telling me about this music store up the street. We must have missed it when we were exploring -"

"Come on, I'll take you there now!" Callie said, getting up and tossing her half-eaten piece of pizza back in the box.

"Seriously?" I said.

"Seriously. Come on, it'll be fun! Arizona? Chloe? You in?"

"Oh, no, I'm exhausted," Arizona said with a yawn. "And I have to be back at the hospital soon," she added. Chloe shook her head.

"I've really got to start applying for jobs," she said.

"Alright, suit yourselves!" Callie said, grabbing her sunglasses off the bench. "Come on then, Becs."

My head was swimming a bit from the wine, but I felt good. This was good. Seattle was going to be really, really good.

* * *

It was one of the best music stores I had ever been into. Wall to wall vinyls - good ones - and books. I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Callie. It was as if we had been friends for a long time.

"You know, none of my friends since college are into music at all. Arizona's into dreadful pop. My friend Addison - you'd like her - she and I went to a few concerts when she worked at Seattle Grace. But she hasn't been around for a while."

"Where's she? Is she a doctor too?"

"She's an obstetrician. Super cool lady. She's working in LA now. Actually, she'd be a good contact for you. Lives right on Malibu beach… might be able to put you up for a bit during your internship."

"That would be amazing," I said, flicking through the alternative records.

"I really should start looking for a job too-"

Callie and I jumped in fright as a loud bang echoed throughout the store.

For a moment there was silence; people exchanging wide-eyed glances, standing perfectly still, hoping what they'd just heard was indeed something else.

But then the screaming started. My blood turned to ice.

"Help! Help! Someone shot my husband, help!"

"Stay here," Callie ordered as panic ensued. She was running, not further into the store away from the danger, but towards the exit. The shot had come from the street outside.

Against her demand, I raced after her, pushing through the wall of people clambering to hide in the store. My heart was thumping. Just before the exit, I was knocked to the ground by a tall woman, who ran past without an apology. I stood up and kept going, barely noticing a sharp pain in my wrist.

When I emerged onto the street, Callie already leaning over the victim. A man, probably in his thirties, spilling blood profusely from his chest, lay still and silent on the pavement. His wife was in hysterics.

"They just – drove past – and shot – it missed me by inches, and it hit Tom - I – I" –

Most people had deserted the scene. A few people were crouched behind bins or benches, fearful that the shooter might return. Most had run inside nearby stores and were peering outside through the windows.

"I need an ambulance on the corner of West Papillon Ave, opposite the library. GSW to the chest. Have a trauma team on standby."

Callie tossed her cellphone to the side. Her other hand was at Tom's neck, feeling for a pulse.

"Can you help him, please help him!" his wife screamed.

"I'm going to need you to step back," Callie said forcefully, looking up at the woman who was beginning to hyperventilate. "I'm a doctor and I'm going to do my best to help your husband."

Already covered in blood, Callie tore open his shirt and began applying pressure to the wound. Tom was paper white, his eyes closed.

"I can't believe – we were just out for coffee, and then" –

The woman got down on her knees next to Callie and began shaking her husband. "TOM!" she bellowed through sobs. "WAKE UP, TOM!"

"Please, he's losing too much blood" – Callie began.

"TOM!"

I leapt forward and grabbed the woman by the shoulders. My wrist was throbbing but I ignored it.

"Look at me!" I said sharply. "Look at me!"

Through bloodshot eyes and strangled sobs, the woman took her eyes off her husband and met mine instead.

"Listen to me."

I spoke as calmly as I could.

"This is Dr Torrez. She's a surgeon at Seattle Grace Hospital. She's going to try her best to help Tom, but you need to calm down" –

"HOW-CAN-I-BE-CALM-"

"LOOK AT ME!" I bellowed, still holding her shoulders. "Look at me. Tell me what your name is."

She gulped, tears still streaming. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Callie placing Tom's ripped shirt over the wound. Blood was still pouring thick and fast.

"Don't take your eyes off mine," I said. "Tell me. What is your name?"

"S-Sarah," she choked.

"Sarah, I know you're scared. But Callie is doing her best. You need to let her work."

People were now beginning to gather around, pointing. A light rain was beginning to fall.

"Ignore them, Sarah," I said. "Breathe. Just look at me. Breathe," I urged her.

She did as I said, taking fuller, albeit strangled, breaths. I was still holding her shoulders.

"Are you a doctor too?" she sniffed. "You look way too young to be a doctor."

"No. I've just moved here, actually, from Barden University."

Sarah gave a painful laugh. "Tom's brother went to Barden."

It was working. She was calming down.

"You, man in the hat," Callie suddenly called out. "Come here and put pressure on this wound."

Sarah looked around and began a new wave of sobs. The man, who was part of a larger crowd that was beginning to form, didn't move – just stared dumbly at Callie.

"I can do it," I said.

"No, you stay there with Sarah," Callie said. "OI! You! In the hat! Get your ass down here and help me save this man's life!"

The man suddenly jumped to attention.

"I need you to put your hands here, okay? Hold it right there."

Sarah dissolved into tears again and I was surprised to feel her pull me into a rib-crushing hug.

"He can't die, he can't die," she breathed into my hair. I patted the back of her head, knowing there was nothing I could really say to make her feel any better.

* * *

The ambulance arrived. They put Tom on a stretcher and hooked him up to various monitors. Sarah had gone into silent mode; she stood and watched as they loaded him into the back of the Ambulance. She was now holding onto my hand desperately.

"Okay, miss, you're going to have to step back. There's another unit on the way, you can come with them" –

Sarah cut off the paramedic that was addressing me.

"No. She's coming with me."

Not waiting for a response, Sarah hauled me behind her into the Ambulance. Callie was still attending to Tom with another paramedic.

Moments later, we were speeding towards Seattle Grace.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

I jerked awake, drenched in sweat, gasping for breath. I groped around for Beca who was, of course, sound asleep next to me.

Ever since the shooting outside the music store, I'd been having nightmares. Beca had died a hundred different ways in my sleep. I kept thinking to myself, what if she had been outside at that moment? What if it had been her?

She had called me from the hospital and reassured me she was fine. Told me, in fact, that she'd befriended more surgeons. Arizona had gone straight to the hospital to see Callie, and I insisted I went along too. Sure enough, I found Beca – with a sprained wrist – talking and laughing with some of the doctors. Beca had just been told that Tom would be fine, so she was practically cheerful. Me, though… seeing her there, in a hospital gown, surrounded by all those medical people… It was frightening.

A week on and I still wasn't sleeping properly. But being part of saving a man seemed to have injected a newfound appreciation for life in to Beca. What's more – and I still couldn't believe this – she had been offered a job as a part-time receptionist at the hospital. I figured a lot of it had to do with Callie. After all, the two had become fast friends. She was due to be starting on Monday. She was taking it so seriously!

I hadn't had so much luck on the job front, though. The market was scarce. I'd applied for upwards of thirty jobs and had only heard back from four. I'd managed to get one interview, for a singing teacher at a primary school. But the lady on the phone who called didn't sound overly optimistic; she went on about how crucial experience outside of school was.

My heart rate returning back to a normal pace, I lay back down next to Beca, who hadn't stirred. She'd been so excited about her new job, had been so distracted by her heroic feat, that she hadn't noticed I was becoming increasingly anxious.

To add to that anxiety… I was thinking a lot about Aubrey.

I snuggled further into Beca and was torn between feeling guilty and an overwhelming sense of sadness. While I loved Beca, and our new life that we were growing together – I missed Aubrey. She had been my best friend for so long. I missed our talks, our Bella's rehearsals… even her chiding remarks. Beca was so kind to me and would often leave decision making up to me entirely. This was a new concept to me, as Aubrey had always taken the reins. Always.

"Chlo, you 'kay?" she murmured through her sleep, turning over to face me.

"I'm fine, Beca sweetie, just go back to sleep."

She put her arm under my neck and pulled me closer so that I was nestled into her chest. Our torsos were pressed together, her leg between mine. This was one of the only times she felt bigger than me. In this tight embrace, where it was her head above mine - I felt a sense of protection. That she might save me from all the bad in the world. The loud thud of her heart soothed me even more, and I pushed thoughts of Aubrey from my mind, finally drifting back off to a restless and shadow filled dream.

* * *

Monday morning, and Beca was rife with nerves and excitement. "I'll be just ghosting the others at the moment, seeing what they do," she said for the sixth time. "I'm finally going to be able to buy my DJ equipment back!"

She spooned her cereal into her mouth through a big grin. Callie and Arizona were getting ready to go to the hospital, and Beca was going to leave with them. I was going to be taking care of Sofia for the day.

Once I'd managed to force down a few mouthfuls, I retreated back to our bedroom, while Beca continued to ask more questions about the hospital and her role to Callie. I was angry at myself for wishing she would stop going on about it. Why was it bothering me?

I didn't have much time to ponder. The door opened and closed and before I could say anything, Beca had swooped on top of me, hovering above my body on all fours. I had been staring at the ceiling.

"We're leaving in fifteen," Beca said cheekily. She began to plant kisses on my lips, across my cheek, and down my neck. Normally this gets me whirring. Normally I'd kiss her back, run my hands over her, sigh with delight at her soft lips.

"Chloe, what's wrong?" she asked. Her voice had lost its sultry tone and was replaced with concern.

"Nothing," I said. I couldn't look at her directly in the eye.

Of course she didn't believe that pathetic answer. I felt her body go rigid and she climbed off, falling beside me but leaving one arm draped across my waist.

"Come on, Chlo, you're not okay. What is it?"

I didn't know how to express my feelings without hurting or offending Beca. How could I explain that I was missing Aubrey? That I felt lonely without all my friends at Barden? That I was embarrassed because I had, at this point, no luck at finding a job? How could I tell Beca that for the first time in any of my relationships, it was strange to have a sense of equality – dominance, even – and that perhaps I missed having someone push me, or challenge me? How could I say all these things to someone I didn't want to hurt?

Beca must have seen in my eyes that some serious stuff was bouncing around my skull.

"Chlo. Whatever it is, it's got you really worried," she said. Beca was much more in tune to my feelings than Aubrey ever was… dammit, Aubrey! Now I'm thinking about you again.

A solitary tear leaked out the corner of my eye. Beca wiped it away. Her face, so full of concern… I didn't want to ruin her first day.

"I just keep thinking about you and the shooting," I lie. It is indeed something that keeps me up at night – but not something I really entertain in the light and rationality of the day. But Beca has believed it to be the reason for my concern. Sees it, probably, as me sad that she won't be around the apartment as much. After all, we have been with each other constantly for the past few weeks. Of course I'll miss her. But right now I am so consumed by thoughts of Aubrey…

"I'll be fine," Beca said, nestling her head into the crook of my neck. "I'll be absolutely fine. That shooting was a freak accident. The guy's been caught, he's in jail, and Tom will make a full recovery. And don't worry… I'll only be doing 15 hours a week at the moment. That's hardly anything!"

I smiled at Beca, admiring her attempt to cheer me up. I have to pull myself together for her sake. I return her kisses and pull her closer; but I keep them loving, not letting the moment turn to steam and heat. I don't feel like that right now.

"Hey, Chlo – there's an envelope here for you! And it's time to go, Becs!" Arizona called out. My curiosity was snared; who would possibly be sending me things here? Mom? Dad? Charlie? No, they'd email. I emailed Charlie every couple of days.

We both sat up.

"Well, have a wonderful first day," I said to Beca, giving her one last kiss.

"Thanks!" she said excitedly, going over to the mirror and making sure she looked okay.

"You look beautiful," I say, and I mean it. She is dressed smartly and looks sexy with her makeup done.

In the kitchen, I see the envelope on the counter and instantly know who it's from. I recognize the handwriting. I snatch it up before anyone has time to notice and ask me anything. Beca is at the door already, in front of Callie and Arizona, who are smiling at her enthusiasm.

"Bye, Chlo! Have a good day with Sofia!" she calls, before the three of them disappear. The door clunks shut and I am alone. Well, Sofia's there, but she's fast asleep in her crib.

I sit down on the big red couch, my heart thumping. That's Aubrey's handwriting. But why a letter? Why not an email?

She answers my question in the first line. Which, might I add, does nothing to quell my missing her. She always had a knack for answering my questions before I even had time to ask them.

_Chloe, _

_I'm writing you a letter and not an email for privacy. Plus, you know how that technology has always sort of bothered me._

_I've been doing a great deal of thinking and have decided I was far too harsh on you after that ICCA, radio station debacle. I was too emotional; I hate being too emotional. I reacted in ways I now regret._

_I want you to know I don't blame Beca. I don't blame you. I don't blame myself. This is life, and you and I were just never meant to be._

_In these last few weeks I have been with someone that has made me appreciate the kind and caring things you did for me that I took for granted. So, this letter is also to thank you, Chloe, for being so patient and respectful towards me. But mostly, it is to apologize for the way I behaved, the way I treated you. I truly am sorry._

_I hope you treat Beca with every bit of love an affection you showed me. I hope you're both happy together. All the best for your time in Seattle. Give my love to Arizona for me._

_Aubrey_

I think I sobbed for upwards of half an hour. Face-down on the couch. I didn't stop. Just howled and howled. It wasn't until I registered I wasn't the only one crying that I stopped; I had woken Sofia. Getting her out of her crib, I walked her around, bopping her on my hip. She wouldn't settle. So I changed her into some clothes, grabbed her bottle and put her in the stroller. We both needed some fresh air.

Within a few minutes of being in the hustle and bustle of the street, Sofia had calmed down. And I had too. Somewhat.

After all that, Aubrey had managed to be the bigger person and apologize. I felt a new wave of affection for her. Not romantic, of course. It was… respect.

I had tucked the letter into my pocket, and every so often – at traffic lights, or when Sofia stopped to point at something – I pulled it out and read the last few lines to myself.

We were outside a bookstore. Sofia had spied a bright and colorful poster in the window and I stopped so she could gaze at it. My eyes on the letter, I barely registered the voice addressing me.

"Chloe? Chloe Beale?"

I looked up at the entrance to the bookstore and almost laughed in shock.

"Lexie?" I said incredulously. I couldn't believe it.

"Yep. Although, people here call me Allie," she said with a smile, extending her arms and inviting me to a hug, which I accepted. Her full name was Alexandria.

"Allie, right," I said, giddy with shock. I hadn't seen Lexie – or Allie, as she now likes to be called - since she had left Barden with her boyfriend.

I stood back and took her in. She looked the same as ever. Taller than me, but only by a fraction. Olive skinned. Tattoos spanning her forearms, disappearing up under a black shirt. Silver framed glasses and, this was a new development – dark purple hair.

While I was gawping at the woman I had been infatuated with all those years ago, Allie was now leaning down and tickling Sofia's foot.

"Didn't know you had a baby," Allie said almost idly.

"Oh, she's not mine," I say quickly. "She's my aunt's."

"Cool. She's cute. So, what brings you to Seattle?"

She hasn't changed. Besides the hair, of course – but other than that, she's exactly the same. Dreamlike, the way she talks, as if at any moment she might be picked up by the wind and land somewhere else. That was what I both loved and hated about her. She never stayed in one place. Any information that might have been outrageous or unbelievable, she reacted as if it was totally plausible, as if we were always talking about the weather.

"Living with my aunt, her wife and my girlfriend. We're staying in Seattle to find jobs and work before moving to LA."

"Nice," she said again, her attention still focused on Sofia. Of course, Sofia liked Allie straight away. Everybody did.

"Well, I live here for good now," Allie said, straightening back up and smiling. I faltered.

"Really? Doing what?"

"I own this bookshop. With Nicola," she points in the store. Behind the counter, a tall willowy blonde is serving a customer.

"We're engaged," Allie said, beaming.

"Congratulations!" I say, genuinely surprised. I had always imagined Allie drifting from one continent to the next, tasting and sampling everything the world had to offer, before finally settling at some beach in Mexico in her old age… I certainly had thought about that, I realized.

"You and um, what's her name - ?"

"Beca."

"- you and Beca should come over for dinner sometime. We live just above the shop," she said, pointing towards the sky. I nod.

We make small talk for another five minutes. Talk about graduation, what she did when she left for the East Coast. I almost have to stop myself from laughing more than once; Allie has to try hard to remember the name of the boy she left with.

"He was just a kid, really," Allie says with a dismissive wave of her hand. Did she think I had just been a kid too? But she had remembered my name, and even came over to say hello. Perhaps I wasn't like all her other lovers that came and went?

We said goodbye having made dinner plans for Friday night. I pushed Sofia back to the apartment, feeling a weird kind of nostalgia I couldn't explain. It wasn't as though I still loved her. No, my romantic feelings for her had disappeared as fast as they had come. But all the same – seeing someone who once had a profound impact on your life was strange.

I spent the rest of the afternoon re-reading Aubrey's letter, and even going on my laptop and looking at old photos of Allie and I together. I preferred her as Lexie. The name 'Allie' made her sound soft.

I tucked the letter Aubrey had given me at the back of my nightstand drawer. I didn't think it was a good idea to leave it lying around, and I knew Beca wasn't a snoop anyway.

And soon enough, at five-thirty, Beca bounded in through the door and told me all about her first day. I pushed all thoughts of Aubrey and Allie to the back of my mind, and arranged my face into smiles, thinking I at least owed it to Beca to be proud of her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"Where are my charts? Oi, new girl, where are my charts?"

"Right where you left them, Doctor Karev," I said, gesturing to a disused gurney over by the entrance to the ER. "You threw them there when you came in with that patient with the gash in their face."

"And you didn't think to pick them up?" he snarled, gathering up the pile of charts and stalking away.

"Ignore him," came a voice behind me. The infamous Doctor Meredith Grey appeared, smiling and gently rubbing her back. She was very heavily pregnant.

"Yesterday when I moved his charts back here behind the desk, he yelled at me because they weren't where he left them."

Meredith rolled her eyes and I grinned. I already knew that you didn't take Alex Karev's remarks seriously.

"He's just upset about Jo," Meredith said, taking a swig of water from her bottle.

"Yeah. That's all the nurses are talking about," I agreed. Meredith's pager began beeping and she sighed.

"Off to CT. See you, Beca."

I waved and watched as Meredith disappeared. In my month at the hospital, I had learned some very interesting things about the surgeons at Seattle Grace. Especially because my hours had increased to 35 per week. And mostly, they were night shifts.

Alex, obviously, was not to be messed with. He frequently snapped at nurses and other hospital staff. The only person I saw him treat with any modicum of respect was Arizona who either didn't put up with it, or perhaps, he did indeed respect her.

Derek, or Doctor Shepherd, was something of a god to the nurses. They'd go on about his hair and his smile, and sometimes even mention his name in the same sentence as Mark – Sofia's dad and, apparently, Derek's old best friend.

Interns were universally hated although I didn't mind Doctor Brooks, who was quirky and kind of weird.

Doctor Bailey was another force to be reckoned with. I'd only spoken to her once or twice, but I think on the second occasion I had impressed her. One of the nurses had botched a chart – mixed two patients up. But having already been on my shift for six hours, I remembered each patient and leapt in to save the situation.

"Who are you?" Bailey had snapped, her eyes narrowed and her forehead creased. "I've never seen you before."

"I'm Beca Mitchells" –

"And why aren't you in scrubs?"

"Because I'm a receptionist."

Bailey then turned towards the flustered nurse. "Well, Meads, you better take a leaf outa this kid's book, because she's three steps ahead of you and for goodness sake, you're actually medical staff!"

Then she'd turned on her heel and stalked away, leaving nurse Meads standing awkwardly and almost in tears. After seeing a few more interactions involving doctor Bailey, I came to the conclusion that she had complimented me.

Callie often swung by, bringing me coffee or just to tell me some piece of office drama. I found that being at reception by the nurses station meant I was at the hub of drama.

I had an hour left of my shift to go when an extremely beautiful redheaded woman made her way over to the reception desk. For a moment I thought it was Chloe, but as she got closer I realized it definitely wasn't. I stared at her like some kind of stupid deer.

"Is Doctor Torrez around?" the woman asked me.

I cleared my throat. She was a lot to take in.

"Uh. Callie's shift finishes in an hour."

Something clicked in my brain.

"Hang on – are you who she's meeting for dinner…?"

"Yes, we are meeting for dinner," the redhead said with a half-smile. "Callie certainly…"

"You're wondering why a lowly receptionist knows your dinner plans?" I tried. "I live with her."

The woman's face softened.

"Oh, for a moment I just thought… lovely. Well, I'm Doctor Addison Montgomery. Nice to meet you."

She held out a perfectly manicured hand and I shook it, still staring at her like an idiot.

The woman named Addison rang a bell in my mind. How?

"I just flew in from LA… the weather is always so nice there. I forget how much it rains in Seattle," she said idly, looking around. The cog in my mind clicked over again as I remembered the conversation at the music store I'd had with Callie.

"Oh, you're the obstetrician? That lives on Malibu beach?"

Addison turned back towards me and this time, she surveyed my face more closely.

"My, my. Yes I am."

As if on cue, Callie suddenly appeared.

"Addie!" she cried, rushing forward. I watched as the two women embraced. "I see you've met Beca," Callie said, smiling at me.

"I have indeed."

"Bec, you can finish up and come to dinner if you want. With us. We're going to this really fancy and delicious seafood place about three blocks away."

I thought about this for a few moments and decided I would. Glancing at my phone, I already knew I wouldn't have any messages. I scowled slightly as I readied my bag. The other receptionist, Maggie, who was always wandering off and socializing had finally returned.

"You're leaving already?" she huffed.

"She's on official hospital business with me," Callie said, winking at me as Maggie turned away and rolled her eyes.

* * *

Dinner was probably one of the best meals I'd ever eaten. Callie and Addison clearly earned so much money that they could order bottle after bottle of top-shelf wine, appetizers, whatever. I felt like a kid in a candy store, sampling food I'd never even heard of, trying wine and laughing along to Addison's stories.

I sat there for most of the dinner, listening. The two surgeons had a lot to catch up on. Addison worked at a smaller practice, which apparently was never short of drama. I enjoyed their banter.

But by the end of dessert, it was safe to say we were all quite drunk.

"So Beca, tell us," Callie said, sloshing red wine over her napkin. "How did you and Chloe meet?"

"I hear Chloe looks exactly like Arizona," Addison chimed in, leaning forward excitedly, her makeup a bit smuged.

I nodded. "They do, they look so alike. Well," I could hear my own voice slurring. I was plastered.

"Uuuuuum. Chloe and I met at Barden University, and she was in a singing group called the Barden Bella's, and she walked in on me in the shower."

I gulped back some more wine and continued as both Callie and Addison laughed.

"Then like, I accidentally had a threesome with two of my friends after the finals, and Chloe got upset and ran away to LA, but then she came back and told me she loved me. Yeah. Yeah then we moved to Seattle, and I met Callie!"

"And I really, _really_ like you," Callie said thickly, leaning over and crushing me in a hug. "You remind me so much of me!" she added, raising up her glass and finishing what was left. But when she set it back down, her expression was serious.

"But, you know, Arizona's been like… distant with me lately," Callie said in an undertone as she poured more wine.

"How so?" Addison asked.

"I don't know. Just… I still don't think she's over the whole leg thing. And she's spending lots of time with that facial surgeon, what's her name?"

"Oh, Lauren?" I said, feeling my head swim. "She's hot."

"She is, dammit," Callie said, banging her fist on the table and making me jump.

"Chloe's been acting kind of the same, actually," I said. I checked my phone. Sure enough, no messages.

"She works a couple of days a week temping at a primary school. And we did go to her exes place for dinner a few weeks ago… but I dunno. It's weird. She won't talk to me about what's bothering her, either, and I can tell something is."

"What's wrong with them?" Callie said. I was surprised to see tears in her eyes, and even more surprised to feel tears on my own face. The alcohol was turning us into emotional wrecks.

"Okay, let's get the bill and go back to my hotel. There's more wine there," Addison said, staggering to her feet and signaling to the waiter to bring the bill.

Callie and I followed suit. As I stumbled a bit, Addison linked her arm through mine and in a drunken haze we somehow found our way back to her hotel.

After another entire bottle of wine, more collective laughing and sobbing, Callie lay curled up on the bed. Addison and I were doing shots of whiskey on the floor (something we had found at the minibar).

My head hurt and my stomach threatened to bring up my dinner. Any kind of logic and reason had evaporated with the excess alcohol, and since I was sitting face to face with a gorgeous redhead [did I have a type?], I apparently wanted to make the most of that.

"You know, Beca, you're totally cool. If you ever need work in LA, just let me know, and I'll find you something."

"Really!?" I gasped, shuffling closer to her. "Because I'm moving to LA with Chloe in a couple of months because I have an internship at Domino Records and… and it's unpaid so I'll totally need work and…"

My stomach lurched a bit.

"Yeah, of course, just let me know," she smiled. We chinked our shot glasses and downed another whiskey.

Throat still burning, I could hardly believe the next words that came out my mouth. But I looked her dead in the eye and said it.

"We should make out."

What. What the hell did I just say? It sounded like it came from someone else. But no. It came from me, and I was sure Addison was going to throw me out the room.

But instead, she reached out and put my hair behind my ear, tenderly. She spoke softly.

"Beca, you don't want to make out with me. You're upset about Chloe."

"Oh come on, who cares? She doesn't talk to me anymore," I cried. "Well, she does, but… there's something she isn't telling me and I can… feel it, but…"

Addison closed the gap between us and I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Talk to her tomorrow. Tell her how you feel."

She stroked my hair and at some point I fell asleep.

* * *

Worst. Hang over. Of. My life. After picking myself up off the floor (which involved disentangling myself from Addison), I crawled to the bathroom and threw up. A lot. The blurred memory of me asking Addison to make out made me heave harder.

I decided to see myself out. I went straight back to Callie and Arizona's apartment, and silently let myself in. But apparently there was no need to be silent.

"What the hell is she doing here?" I asked, numbly.

Lauren the surgeon was sitting on the big red couch. Next to _Aubrey._

And both were wearing pajamas.


End file.
